TGIF

I wanted some motivation for today :)  This is IFBB Pro Valerie Haines.  She is doing the KY Pro...the same show as me....

This is Terry Turner....she is also doing the KY Pro....

And I think they are both so incredible and i would love to look like either of them!  I have spoken to both of them a few times back and forth and I am actually going to get to meet them in person!  how cool is that??? Im very excited!!!  But also on the same hand...my body does not even come close to either of them!  Im trying...i am....not happening.....yet ;)

I found a beautiful pair of earrings today at this little store near my work....they were like $40.00 which isn't so bad.....i may get them.  They were kinda big though....but sparkly :)

So this weekend will be 2 weeks out!  I have to do pics and send them out....hopefully some changes have been made in the last week or two.....i hope so...cause i need it.

Weight was 107.2 this morning.....I got up and did 30 min EMC and then hit the gym for chest and some abs...more abs and cardio tonight.

We have angelica tonight because tomorrow is halloween.....she has a cold though and im panicking because i dont want her to be giving me her cold....everyone around is sick and (knock on wood) i have been avoiding it...but since we are going to be sleeping in the same room (because Adam's brother is still with us and is in Angelica's room) I am going to have to sleep on the air mattress...or she is.....whichever way..but im not going to be near her! 

Her birthday is Monday and I was going to have her cake tonight but since she has a cold, my sister doesn't want the baby to catch her cold either, so we have to do it next week sometime...oh what a pain..i hate having to put it off for her!  I feel bad...but there is nothing that can be done about it...we are going to do her presents and stuff tonight but cake will have to wait i guess.

My sister had my nephew's pictures done yesterday for "fall/halloween"......he is too cute!!

 Well...if im brave enough...i will post progress pics....

I also wanted to give a shout out to Becca, Jessica and Genie who are competing tomorrow!!!  Good Luck Girls!!!!

tuesday :)

I needed to move those pics down....LOL!

18 days and counting......weight was 107.6 this morning.....had shoulders and got in 30 min EMC. 

Last night i did 45 min treadmill, 20 min stepper and some abs.  Made dinner...ahi tuna and brown rice. 

Watched Heroes and took a bath and went to bed....i was tired!!!!

My husband's brother is staying with us for a few days and its really hard...its not good when u dont feel comfortable in your own house.  I hate having to worry about being dressed all the time, not leaving anything around, etc.  Its hard...im dealing with it....but i want my little life back.  You dont realize what you have and what type of groove your life is in until its distrupted. 

So tonight Adam has to take Angelica to Karate....i dont want to go home and be there with just him...so i am going to go to my sisters until adam picks me up.  But i dont mind cause tonight is Biggest Loser and i like to do my cardio later on tuesdays so i can watch it  while i am on the treadmill :)  But just the fact that i cant go into my house and be in peace....that bothers me....hopefully it wont be too long.....

19 days...

Quick update.....a little less than 3 weeks left..weight 107.4....Im so not ready!  I dont know what im going to look like come show day.  Im leaning out ok...except my ass.....and legs....and the fact that i have no muscle on me whatsoever.....LOL!  I hate me.....here is a front and side pic....dont be grossed out ;)  No ass pics!  Blech!

and now...to top it all off.....my throat is starting to hurt....i CANNOT get sick right now.....still too far to go!!!  Please say a prayer that i dont get sick.....cause if i do...im done!  I dont think i will be able to make up for any lost time....

if that happens...i may be watching April from the audience instead of backstage  :)

24 days and counting.....

Well we are 24 days away....

Body is slimming down.....still waiting for my ass to slim more and my abs to show more but im getting there.

I just feel like time is going by so quickly and i am not going to be ready.  I want to be able to not stress so much about this...i wish  i was at a point in my life (body wise) where i could just be like 3-4 weeks out and say "im ready" and then just watch for the last few weeks and relax...i really dont ever see that happening...but....its a dream :)

Cynthia--i want to thank you so much for your comments on my last post....it really struck home with me....i never give myself credit for anything i do and i dont know why i always sell myself short...i guess its just a lack of confidence thing with me...i never had it....hopefully as i age, i will start to get it ;)

I am loving my diet right now....yes i said it....im 4 weeks out and i still have some carbs in my diet and, with that, some energy....i haven't weighed myself..im trying to stay away from that dang scale...but last saturday i was still at 109.  For my first show i was at 104 so i should definitely get there...hopefully a little less (fingers crossed) .

I want to get my head in order for this show....i have my plane ticket, my hotel, my suit, my shoes...i still need to get more tanner...i am using the same suit as last year.....im comfortable in it, it fits, and its pretty...next year i will definitely get the red suit ive been dreaming about ;)  I want to figure out my make-up...i want a warm-up suit, and i told April i am making and taking  THESE with me!!

This is my suit...what color eye makeup would go well with this?  Last year i think i used plums???

I definitly need to practice the fake eyelash thing...because i had a lot of trouble last year with them...April, you did them for me didn't you?  LOL!

Well i guess that is all i got for now.....

tick toc, tick toc....time is a tickin......

Wow...its been over a week since i have posted....i am really bad at this!  LOL!

I just have so much going on and then i wind up spending so much time reading other stuff i never get a chance to write myself. 

So lets see....4.5 weeks out....so not ready......I have decided to just accept my fate and be the fat mess who shouldn't be up there...and just go for the hang out session with April. 

Im trying not to get too stressed out about it...but time is going by way to fast.   

Don't get me wrong....my clothes are huge, my boobs are shrinking....even my ass is going down some...but its still not "stage" ready.  Last year i did the show and i really didn't care either...it was more of a hang out thing too....

Which really brings me to this....i need to get my head on straight.....see the thing is, i dont really look at it as "competing"...i look at it as setting a goal for myself and going through with that goal..  I have never been a competitive person....i dont care if i win, or if i loose.....dont get me wrong...i want one of those figure girl trophies....but im not going to cry and get upset over it when i dont get one......i would probably just get down on myself more for not pushing myself harder, etc. 

But that drive....to win....i really dont have that....and im not sure if that is a good or bad thing???  I guess its good....

there are girls that do these shows just to get into magazines and to do photo shoots and be a spokesperson or whatever.....i have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do that...im too shy and im not comfortable doing those types of things.....i just want to be the best me that i can....i want the muscle, the tiny waist....i loved the excitement and nervousness of being on stage....that made me happy...i love training and the commitment...i love the sport...and doing my first show last year and being able to do that show with 3 friends with all their  support all the way through.....that made it all the better :)  

I just want to get to the point where i can just keep improving......to get rid of the fat on me....to be lean, have some muscle, and to be able to maybe compete, and feel confident and be happy with myself.  Right now, i dont have that.

I have some goals....i  want to be able to continue to compete and maybe make it to the top 5....im not going to go nuts if i dont....but if i really want to go forward with these goals ...i would love to make it to a national stage!  Just to get there...that would be amazing!! Because all those girls are amazing......and to be able to get my body to that level would be the greatest gift of all. 

Monday

Hello!

Today the alarm went off at 5:00...i got out of bed at 5:19....i only hit the snooze 2xs...not too bad for a monday ;)  Did 32 minutes of cardio and came up and had my oats and prunes and coffee and got ready to hit the gym.  Leg day!  And i really pushed them...i hope not too hard though....but i was very wobbly by the end....so we shall see.  I have been doing my deadlifts off the bench to try and get more of a hamstring stretch going....which in turn is what is probably making my legs hurt.  LOL!!

At lunch i did the fire exit stairs for 15 minutes.  Up and down 10 flights about 3 or 4 times....not sure if this was a good idea doing it on leg day, but i have to try and do the stairs maybe 3xs a week if possible....and it also keeps me from going out at lunch time and spending money ;)

Speaking of spending money......i booked my flight today for the show!!!!!  WOW! This makes it really real..and time is a tickin.....40 days.....im getting a little concerned about not being ready....but as April told me....its a chance to hang out, have fun, and then have a wonderfully bad breakfast together on sunday :)

The good thing is that i have my iphone now and we can do video and pics and send them hopefully to blogger for all to see :)  I will have to do a test before hand to see if it works!

Diet will be changed at 5 weeks and then once i hit 3 weeks, pics and diet will be changed weekly!   Im liking this diet right now.....so hopefully it wont get too bad...we shall see.

I of course, have so many bad thoughts going through my head about not being ready....one of them is that this show is also a pro show....and two girls that i really look up to are doing this show and i really want to meet them and i dont want them to look at me and say "is she really getting up there looking like that?" 

This is how i think!!!!

Anyway.....i will try and stay positive through the rest of this journey.....i have to realize that if i stay focused and just look at this show as a step toward a better me next year, then i can cope...but i want to look like i belong up there....that is all. 

Hopefully make-up and tan will do wonders ;)

6 weeks out

Well i lied....its two days later.....

Workouts going great!  Getting most of my cardio in ;)    Im trying here!  Im tired!  LOL!

Weight this morning....109.0 

legs still flabby and gross!  Will they ever lean out?

This morning i was up early for some reason, so i got up, dressed and went food shopping...now im cooking for the week and trying to clean in between...but im making a mess cooking, so its like im going in a circle.

Adam is out watching football so i have the music blasting and im doing my thing....i wish i was neater....my mom keeps telling me "just do 15 minutes a night" to try and straighten up and then it wont be so bad....i will try...but i cant see it happening....LOL!

I still haven't booked my flight...i dont know what im waiting for.....i guess then the reality sets in.....but im running out of time, so i will probably book it this week.

I was going to get a new suit, but i may just wear what i have...again, waiting till the last minute, not going to have it in time....its fine...i will just save money doing it this way...but defiinitely next year a new one!

have a great sunday!

I will try and post this week  =)

I promise to update tomorrow.....i suck!  Too many other blogs to read.....plus, i actually do work sometimes ;)