I don’t even know where to begin...its been such a long time in between posts.
Work has been really busy lately too and I just run out of time to blog.
As always, im not where I want to be body wise. A part of me feels like such a failure. Not being able to be what I know that I can be. And then on the other hand, I am in acceptance of it and I want to be ok with not looking the way that I want to.
Every year it’s the same thing. And now, we are in the 9th month of the year and im no where near where I should be. I wanted to compete in June..that went out the window...then I said November and by the way that I look right now....there is no way in hell I can get where I want/need to be. It is all my doing...im not putting the blame on anyone but myself.
Anyway....I have to look at things in a better light...im happy, I have a wonderful husband, step daughter, fur babies, family and friends. I have a job, a house, a car and im healthy. These are the things that matter. Yes I want to get on stage and I want to look like Ava Cowan or Nicole Wilkins. Yes I want to look down at my stomach and see abs...not a roll...yes, I want no cottage cheese on my butt/thighs.....I digress.....anyway, you get the picture.
I love working out...and for the most part, I love eating clean. Yes there are times when I want to devour a whole brownie pan, but, I feel so much better when im doing what I should.
Having a positive mindset is probably the hardest thing to do. I try to actually talk to myself and give myself a pep talk...telling myself that I deserve this, I am strong, powerful, I can get through whatever obstacle I face. But I don’t believe it. And there lies the entire problem.
For example....I sent my weekly progress pics to momma....with a paragraph of basically saying that the pictures are bad, I made too many mistakes this week...blah blah blah....her words back to me??
“You have to either decide that this is a LIFESTYLE and you are changing for GOOD - OR you have to learn to be happy to live the rest of your life heavy. The choice is YOURS.
I want to see a BIG change in attitude this week. You need to care enough about YOU to make a change.
What's it gonna be?”
So there it is....my attitude is bad....so then my outcome is going to be bad. Im just not a positive person. Im always so negative about myself *(you can even see this in the above paragraphs).
So anyway.. Onto another issue.... I need to rant about something. There is this online “trainer” who thinks that he knows it all and feels the need to bash and talk about other trainers and their training philosophy. I don’t get it? Fine, maybe you don’t agree with that person’s training or whatever but to mock and to say that these trainers who train 100's of girls, don’t know what they are doing and he does? And to post it on facebook? Come on! Grow up! It just pisses me off. So the trainers who have dozens upon dozens of girls who are pros..they are all wrong??? So all of these IFBB pros who still do 2 cardio sessions a day along with their weight training while going into a show...they are all doing it wrong? So when Nicole Wilkins is doing 2x50 or 60 minute cardio sessions a day going into the Olympia...she is wrong too??? EVERY SINGLE pro that I ever either read an article on or see an interview with all say they do between 30-50 min of cardio a day....even in “off season”....Gina Aliotti still does cardio 6xs a week and she isn't even competing right now!
I really hope that I dont offend anyone by this.......these are just my thoughts.....I do feel better now though :)
