Happy Thursday :)

Well i did it...i bit the bullet...and finally caved on spending the money on this....

Watergeeks stainless steel filtered water bottle...yes its 25.00 BUT....

1)  its helping the enviornment with me not buying case after case of bottled water

2)   it will help me save money in the long run

3)  i wont have a giant box of water bottles on my floor that i always  seem to kick or trip over constantly :)



Today was a tough morning...my human alarm clock (hubby) overslept this morning...which in turn made me oversleep.***

***I dont put the alarm on when he sleeps on the side of the bed with the alarm...yes we switch sides constantly because he cant ever get comfortable ;)

Anyway...i didnt make it to the gym but i got in a good cardio session watching LOST....im catching up on last season on Netflix :)  Its so good...but sooo confusing!  So many flash backs, forwards, etc...i have no idea what is going on...but i love it!!!!

It was chest day anyway...and i dont need anymore chest than i already have ;)

More cardio tonight....so i can finish the episode i had to stop watching :)......I could have stayed on that treadmill forever this morning....just watching it....it really makes the time go by.....I am also catching up on last season of Greys Anatomy too....i go back and forth....one disk Greys, on disc Lost....im getting through them pretty quick....im going to have to find something else to watch...i think Dexter Season 2 is next....

Tuesday :)

Training this week is starting off great!  Yesterday I did legs!  And i am feeling it today! After work i came home and did 40 minutes on the treadmill.  Watched Heroes and the up to bed!  Being i went to bed so early i was able to get up and do some EMC :)  Got in 30 minutes, ate 6 egg whites and then hit the gym for shoulders!  I got there early because I had a looong workout to complete!  I got the entire thing done and i felt so good afterwards :) 

Diet is going pretty good.  Im doing good with my timing but my little "extras"  need to start to go away.  They aren't really even bad "extras" but the extra calories do add up....for instance...Trader Joe's finally came out with an almond butter with the flax seeds in it....just like Naturally More...which i totally am in love with!  So i bought it...and i had to taste it to see if it tasted the same as Naturally More ;)  And it did!!!!  I didn't have much...i stirred it up and then just ate the excess off the spoon ;)  Or at night i will have a 1/2 cup of fat free greek yogurt with a little bit of granola. 

I did have my "cheat" meal on Saturday....went a little overboard on the carbs but its all good! 

I am good...and i am happy and healthy and i will get to where i need to be....and i will not have a rebound this season...i will keep it up....and continue to grow and get better....because they do say we get better with age right? 

I have set my focus on June....im continuously visualizing me up there on that stage...making my quarter turns, smiling, knowing how hard i worked....and knowing that i gave it my all....strong, focused, happy.  Is there anything better???

*****

I am so looking forward to the Arnold....everyone all fit and arms and abs showing!  I love it!!!!!  As much as this country is so overweight...it is so nice to see fit, happy, healthy people all together in one place!  Makes you feel not alone :)

My two year wedding anniversary is coming up next week....i cant believe it!  Its two years already!!!  We are going to Atlantic City overnight Sunday-Monday.  So that should be nice! 

What else??  um.....oh....we had really heavy rains again yesterday....came home...and my countertop was all wet again!  Which means that the roof is STILL leaking!!!!!  Thank god i didn't get my kitchen done yet!  I would be a crazy person!  The cabinets are getting all warped and splitting....i should put in a homeowners claim but i just switched companies so i dont want my rates to go up! 

I guess that is all i have for now....Im going to my sister's tonight to visit the family...because god forbid i dont see them at least once a week!  LOL!!

Believe

"To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will"

I have been doing some thinking....I don't believe in myself.   Having such bad self esteem for so long has really hurt me.  I think that in the back of my head I don't believe that I deserve to look the way I want to. 

Adam believes that a lot of my issues has to do with my family and the way they make me feel guilty all the time.  That may have something to do with it.  But i am so hard on myself all of the time. 

I need to believe wholeheartedly that i can do what needs to be done.  I have done it twice already...I can do it again.  But I want to do it differently.  I don't want to gain again like i did the past two times.  I want to kick myself repeatedly for being so stupid.  I would be so far ahead of the game if i didn't eat the way i did through November and December. 

Im not going to get into all the boo hoo'ing and woe is me crap..  I did it, its done...i have to move on.  I need to believe in me...and what i can do.  I can get to where i need to be....if i believe....im trying....

Another work week done....time just goes...i went to the new gym 2xs this week and Bally's the other three days....as much as i hate bally's, im comfortable there...i know where im going..i know most of the people there in the morning, i have my locker, my stuff, etc....its more routine for me there....even though this morning it was more busy than usual...but i guess that is normal since its January...they will be gone soon enough.

Tomorrow marks 23 weeks out.  I just need to focus on my goal.  That is all there is to it right?  FOCUS....

I came across a great line on some blog i forget now....LOL!

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure"

I guess i could relate to that....even though i have tried and i have accomplished my previous goals of getting on that stage.....but now the goals have changed a bit.....i want to belong up there....not just get up there...there is a difference...and i have the time to make a difference in my appearance...so i must do it...no one else can get me there besides me...my trainer can only give me the tools to get there.  He can tell me what to do, what to eat, etc...it is up to me to do the right thing and then to go that extra mile...to push myself to do more when i dont want to.  Its all up to me. 

How bad do i want it?  How hard am i willing to work to get it? 

That my friends, is all up to me....and i have to dig deep for this one....because i want it!!! 

January 12, 2010

I guess the games have begun...i was trying to figure out my time line of how long i had until the june show..so what better way than to put up a countdown clock :)  So i have 165 days....which may seem like a lot...but really, its not.  I know this from experience...i have  made this mistake for the past two years...always saying that i have enough time.....and i never do...so im starting early....i have 24 weeks...bring it on!

Weight is up from the holiday binge....im only starting my second week of my new diet so we will have to see how it goes.  I dont have to do pics for 3 more weeks..so i need to keep it as clean as i can...even though that Fage yogurt keeps calling my name....its not so much the yogurt...but the granola i put in it.....i dont use a lot but its not on plan so i have to cut it out...

Im in the process of booking my flight for the Arnold...we have our hotel too :)  I am flying in Thursday..April will pick me up...drive to Columbus....and relax for the night...then friday do the expo and whatever else and then on saturday, drive back with april and she can drop me off at the airport :)  I was only going to do overnight again but hubby was saying that it was kind of a waste for me to fly out there for just one night...so i will stay two :)  I think he is trying to get rid of me....LOL!   But hey, i get to see my friend an extra day :) 

Today was shoulders....
laterals, front presses, db press, 1/4 laterals, rear delt presses, upright rows...i think that was it ;)

i didn't get up for cardio this morning because hubby decided to talk to me until after 11:00..then wanted to watch the Office at 11:00-11:30....i went up at 10:15 or so and was all cozy....oh well!  So i didn't get enough sleep to get up at 5:00...so now i will have to go home and do some after i get home.

I did 25 min EMC yesterday and did 45 last night....im trying to get back in the groove!!!

I have a lot of work ahead of me...but i know that if i stay focused i will get it done.

The thing that is hard for me is when situations arise...my friends are meeting tomorrow for dinner....and italian place...i will try and be as good as i can...but its so hard when everyone doesn't care what the heck they eat....and then on saturday i have a baby shower....i need to be prepared...this stuff is always going to come up...i have to deal with it right?

i guess that is it for now....

Wednesday :)

Already 6 days into 2010!  Crazy how fast time goes!

Got my new meal plan and workouts on Sunday and I started on Monday.  Food is not bad but prepping the food and portioning it out is the worst part.  I am constantly eating and im never hungry...which is good..but its so much that I feel like that is all I do is eat and run to the bathroom from all the water!  I get a cheat meal once a week too..which helps.
    
I had a little mess up on Tuesday (see?  Im already messing up)...in my sleep I must have shut off my alarm instead of snoozing and I slept until 8:00!  Jumped up, had to take a quick shower, gather my food, and head out the door!  So mad...second day into it and I messed it up!

Today I went to the new posh gym...OMG!  I forgot to mention this!  My boss for christmas got me a 3 month membership to this really nice gym.....  www.sportingclubbellevue.com..it has everything and I know im going to get spoiled really quickly!  They have new nice equipment, tv’s on every piece of cardio equipment.  The women’s locker room has its own jacuzzi, sauna, steam room and then it leads to an olympic sized pool......so nice.  And I don’t have to worry about towels, shampoo/conditioner, hairdryer/curling/straightening iron..they supply it all.  Then it has an indoor track, full regulation basketball court, yoga studio, kickboxing, TRX, spinning...I could go on and on...anyway.....so I went today for the first time...its really big and confusing but I will get the hang of it im sure....but after the 3 months I can continue it if I want to....I will see....but its 99 bucks a month!  That is a lot compared to what I pay now....I think I pay 30.00 a month???  So it’s a big difference.

 So anyway...had a great shoulder workout!  Their free weight area is great...they actually have different increments than bally’s does....for instance they had 12.5 and then 15 and then 17.5.  So that was a change up...and they had the machine for the rear delt presses..which are always on my workouts but I just do free weight ones because the machine wasn’t available...so I got to do them :)

So what else is going on??  I don’t think anything!  Im going to redo my vision board..I have been meaning to do it for a while now....laziness I guess.

Well since im extra lazy...im going to leave you with some pics from christmas....im such a slacker ;)

new year---new me

Well I did some reading last night.....i read over my blog from the past year...and i discovered what my resolution should be for this year.....

all that i did was bitch, complain, and waste time and energy into not getting what i want...excuse after excuse....missing meals, cardio, cheating....and i wonder why i look the way i do?  All i ever did was blame everything and everyone and it was all my doing...so as of today, january 2, 2010...i will do what i need to do to get where i need to be.....and i will stay focused, determined, and i will not put myself down..i will stay motivated and will not put myself down...i will use this blog as my focus and my positive outlook....no more debbie downer.....there is only one way to get what i want....to go out there and get it, right?  Only one thing is stopping me.....me.....and im done with it.....Im done comparing myself with others, im tired of always....well being me...which is why i am the way i am!

So now its a new me.....lets see what i can do :)