Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)

Honest Scrap Award

Well since my lovely  friend April tagged me for the Honest Scrap Award which asks me to divulge 10 Truths then tag 7 more bloggers who I think will be 100% truthful.  Lets see if i can do this....

1.   I hate to clean...i only clean because i have to...i desperately want to hire a cleaning lady.

2.   I want to shave my cat because i cant take all the cat hair everywhere

3.   Sometimes i want children...until they start crying....or until they poop...then i realize how much i like my dog.

4.    I am constantly worried that people watch everything i eat because im supposed to be "healthy" and then if i eat something im not supposed to, that they talk about me behind my back.

5.  I love my family but they always make me feel guilty!  My parents and my sister and her husband's family are constantly together and i am always asked to go over...and it drives me crazy...i like to be able to go home and relax and do my own thing every once in a while...but then i feel guilty all the time! 

6.   I didn't drink coffee until i was in my late 20s...i had this "thing" with coffee....my mom used to use the perculated coffee maker when i was young and it always had the coffee grinds in the bottom of her mug...and i would ask what it was and she said it was "cockys"  (meaning bad) so i always associated coffee with bad??  (Strange, i know.LOL)

7.    I "grew" boobs around the summer going into 8th grade....i had a cute little shirt that had a "T" on it with teddy bear cheerleaders on it.....and all the boys used to tease me saying that the T was for....(ya know)..i never wore that shirt again!

8.    I have a very hard time budgeting my money....i cant save money for the life of me!

9.    I cant wear pajama pants to bed...or socks....i can only wear t-shirts...but i wear my cozy pjs around the house :)

10.   i want to get remarried so i can have thinner wedding pictures...i hate my arms in my pics!

Ok...i guess that is it...im not going to tag anyone because i think everyone in my little circle was already hit :)

show recap

Well i never really did a recap to KY Muscle...April did a pretty good job going through it all though ;)

My plane took off at 7:25 am and was early arriving in Indy...I called April when i got my baggage and she was already on her way...she picked me up and we were on our way to KY....made a few stops and we got to the Galt House around noonish?  We were able to check in and our room was really nice..... i got the suite instead of the room....so we had more room to make a mess...LOL!  

After we brought everything up to the room (including April's mom's microwave...thank you april's mommy) we were able to relax a bit....so we took a nap :)  Woke up, ate, and got ready to go down for our check in and get our cool NPC ID cards :)

After that was over...we began the lovely task of tanning!  UGH!!!!  Tanning is the biggest pain in the ass ever!  It is so worth that extra $100.00 to get sprayed....so next time...definitely going wtih the spray!

So saturday came and we were up around 6:00 i think?  Did another coat of tan and then got dressed and started make-up...

i was a greasy mess...i was so shiney all day...no matter how much powder i used...i was just oily for some reason.....as you can see....

April isn't though :)

Went to the hall to get our #s and i was #12 :) 

We had to be back at 12:30 for prejudging...when i first got on stage i was shaking sooo bad!  It was horrible!  I didn't even think i did my quarter turns right....i was just so nervous...and i wish i would have just taken a deep breath or something right before...but it just went so fast and honestly i have no idea what i did...prejudging was until about 2:30...went back to the room...crashed again....woke up...and went back for the night show.....neither of us really even wanted to go back..we just wanted to eat :)  So night show was long....i didn't get off stage until after 10:00!

 Here is April in line at the night show :)

We left, got back to the room, took showers and ate...crashed on sugar and fell asleep...LOL!

TO BE CONTINUED......(i have to go to sleep....LOL)

my brain hurts

Hi all...i have so much to write about....from my show experience (yes, just like my friend April...I too came in last place)  to posting the few pics that i did take (which are basically the same as April's) along with doing a review of the samples that i received from Vitalicious and another product review of Newman's Organics! 

Honestly...right now i dont have it in me.....

I had a cry fest after seeing my pics (please dont even go look for them...they are horrible)....adam had a long talk with me...and a lot of what he was saying was true.....it takes time.....time to build muscle, time to get rid of all of the fat that i have on my body....i have come a long way.....i know that...but it still sucks!  I still worked hard.....and for that i am happy.....i had a wonderful time with April....she is my  right hand and i wish we lived closer!!!!  I got to meet Genie (even if it was only for a second ;)..LOL)  She is too cute!!!

The whole competition experience is wonderful....i love it....as exhausting as it is, i love it!  I love the fact that everyone who is there has the same outlook....the same goals written on their calendars....some are more competitive, of course, but most are there to have a good time and to strut their stuff on stage!   You dont see anybody being catty or mean.  Im glad that i have had such a good experience with that. 

I have a lot to work on......and i have two sides to me.. the angel and the devil...one side says to go for it and try to be the best possible me and work hard and dont stop and strive or top 5 at a show....and then the other part of me (the negative me) says that i will never be able to place or get where i need to be so why even bother?? 

Im torn......do you quit something you like to do because its hard and dont know what you can accomplish at the end or do you push yourself and make yourself into something that you want?   Yes its good to have a goal...but what if that goal is something that you could never attain?  what if you go through it all again....and you give it 110% the whole time and still dont end up where you should?  Is that worse than not doing it at all?  Is just wondering if you could do it enough?  Is failing at something you want so bad worth the pain afterwards? 

The past two shows i have done to get my feet wet..to get the stage experience....and i didn't care how i placed...i did it to hang out with my friends and to make new ones....but when you see that last place standing...it kinda sucks.....and i dont want to be there anymore....so again...do i hang up my hooker heels and say it was fun, or do i get back in that gym and build myself a body that deserves top 5???

that is the question i keep asking myself......

3 days to go!

well here we are....its wednesday....the wednesday before my show....well my and April's show....i cannot wait to see her!!!    Its going to be so much fun!  Even though i get to eat and drink more than her ;)

This final prep week has been so different than last go around.....i actually get to eat and drink water!!  I am a little nervous about this....since last time i had a dry out....so my mind is playing tricks on me....i am going to continue to trust my trainer.....he knows his stuff.....and just see what happens.....its all i can do....trust the process is what i have been told....so far, so good.....i am looking at it this way too....if nothing else changes in my body from now until saturday....then i will look like i do now....with a tan.....and that isn't so bad :)

Weight was still 105.2 this morning.....but all in all, I must say that this has been a pretty enjoyable prep....i enjoy this process and until i really stop and think about it, it just goes by and i don't let it settle in....i need to realize what an accomplishment it is to just have the discipline to do this sport....yeah, my body still has plenty of improvements to make...but i will get there....this is a journey...and i need to remember that.....i have goals that i want to accomplish...and i know that i will only continue to get better, as long as i stay focused and i realize how great this sport is!  Now, don't get me wrong...at times it sucks....not being able to be "normal" and having to stay in and missing parties, going to dinner, and not seeing family as much, etc...but as i continue to get older, i am realizing that you have to live for yourself too....I have always been the person who puts everyone else first before me.  Doing this, you have to become a little selfish...and its hard sometimes....because i get grief from my family and friends....im not asking them to eat what i eat...im not asking them to do what i do.....but yet, i get made to feel like im doing something wrong.....and i know im not.....im doing something that only a small percentage of people can do....and i have to remember that!

This guy came up to me yesterday morning in the gym....i see him every once in a while and we wave to each other.....well yesterday he came up to me and i took my headphone off...he said to me "you are such an inspiration to me....you are here every day...no matter what.....your dedication is amazing"....I said thank you!  That really meant a lot....he said "it is hard for me to get here 2-3 times a week, but no matter what, you are here!"    WOW!  See?  You never know who notices what you do....it felt good...it made me smile :)

So this afternoon i am going to get my nails and toes done.  Tonight i will be making some more food, 7 layer bars and getting some stuff packed....tomorrow i took a half day from work and i am going to make brownies and Paula Deen's Gooey Butter cakes...yum!!!!  Then i have to go and get my hair blown out and finish packing!   I cant believe its here and i know it will be over before you know it....

Hopefully i will be able to post from my phone.....or at least post on facebook ;)  Now you know why i had to have the iphone before christmas ;)  Just for this reason :)

And I really wanted to thank all of you who have posted comments on my blog...it really means a lot to me :)

And i really want to thank April....just for being such a wonderful friend :)  I would never have been able to do this without her!  Even though she is miles away....i feel like she is always right there with me :)   It is so crazy...how a friendship can grow even though we only see each other a couple times a year!  I talk to her more than my friends who live here!  She is the best!!!! Love that girl!!!!   : )

Well i will try and update tomorrow and over the weekend :)   Damn...where the hell did the time go???

BYE :)

6 more days!!!

Wow!  I cannot believe its here!  Im feeling ok....weight is at 105.6....i just wish i had more muscle...im just basically skinny....here is a front and side pic....Im hoping i come in ok for show day...this peak week is a lot different than last time....so i will probably look like this....with a tan....LOL!

Im trying to just stay positive and focused...i know im not going to place...im just here to have fun....with my buddy April :)  That is all that matters!  Oh and the yummy food afterwards!!!

Im getting excited and scared and freaked out and its all good!!





 
(Oh, and by the way..that isn't my side pose..dont worry...i was actually trying to do the correct pose and the timer went off...but i thought the pic came out ok...LOL)

11 days

I needed to update!  I cant have TGIF up there..its tuesday!  LOL!

So...lets see....11 days to go....panic sets in every once in a while....i know im not going to look great...i know my ass is not what it should be....but i also have to give myself some credit....im working my butt off (no pun intended)....im giving it my all...and that is what counts right?

I feel thinner than last time...i feel tighter than last time....but im still not "stage" ready....i wont be that way this time....but im getting there....and my next show....i will be ready....

but in the meantime...i need to stay confident...i need to have a positive mindset....all this negativity is not getting me anywhere...and i know i need to stop...but its really hard....its so easy to put yourself down....but to make yourself sound good?  that is difficult!

What needs to happen is that after the show....and we eat...i need to get a quick handle on my food....especially with the holidays coming.....i have to keep up with my cardio and eating clean....treats here and there...but im not doing what i did last year....

I cant wait to see April....i cant wait to hang out and get all prettied up ;)  I just need to relax and enjoy the ride...cause its gonna be a bumpy one ;)