Hey April....

I got my gazelle in the mail today....i put it together all by myself....lol...are ya proud???

progress pics

Ok, well, here we go...first pic is 2/11/07



This picture is from 3/27/07

This picture is from today...5/29/07


I still have a lot of work to do.....blech! Dont be grossed out! Plus, these are taken by Adam and he didn't really want to take them...so not much care was given......if i can just figure out how to use the damn timer!!!

Well just like my girl April, I felt a little lighter yesterday so i weighed in again...i was back at 118...which still isn't a loss...but its not a gain :)


My weekend sucked big time.....i had no plans whatsoever, Adam was away until Sunday..>Saturday night me and my friend Sherri decide to go out for a bit and get something to eat.....well it starts to downpour rain! So heavy that you couldn't see....finally after sitting in a parked car for 20 minutes, the rain slowed down...we go into the restaurant, and its booked for a private party and we could only eat at the bar! I ate as healthy as possible...and no i didn't have a drink...just diet soda.....

I had chest today and tomorrow is Abs and cardio....fun.....

I really need to take updated pictures....the last ones i took were at the end of week 5...and im on week 14!

It is soo nice out.....i dont want to be in work.....

Well, weigh in wasn't as expected...even with lack of food....119......dont ask me how....im not stressing over it....Tony told me to "LET IT GO! and to move on.....work hard, hope your not eating what your not supposed to and you will lose it.....dont get yourself crazy"

Im not upset about it....what can i do? Its all my fault.....im the one who did it, i know it, im responsible for everything i put into my mouth......and it all wasn't perfect.....im learning, and i know what i need to do....and i will.....i will reach my goal....i only have 10 more pounds to go! I can and i will do it!

Off to the gym......

Oh Well

Well i almost made it.....but i didn't have much.....at about 3:30 i started to get really shaky....so i had a piece of salmon. Then at about 7:30 i had eggs and coffee....it had to be done.....i did not feel good.....hopefully, my weigh in will be ok.......we shall see!

Im hungry....its only 10:45 am......how on earth am i going to make it all day?

No FOOD????

I talked to Tony via email, and i told him that i had a cheat meal last night and i felt horrible and guilty and i was very upset and that i needed a big kick in the ass for it! Well he kicked it! and told me to do a liquid diet tomorrow! I dont think i will be able to go without food all day...just shakes.....i may need some chicken or something....its all my fault and i deserve it, but i had an excuse.....my sister was in the hospital and had an operation on Tuesday and they released her on wednesday and we were over her house and starving, so we ordered from Chili's....there is absoultely nothing really healthy there, so i just got the chicken quesiladillas...i know....bad, bad, bad....so now my punishment is no food????

Im hungry just thinking about it....but i have a weigh in on saturday and i dont want that one stupid meal to ruin everything.....

I am going to go and visit her tonight too...but i am making sure that i eat at home and go to the gym for extra cardio before i go there!

I've been tagged!

I have been tagged. So now i have to think of 7 random things about myself.....and i have to tag another 7 people.....sorry :) Here are the rules:

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

So lets see.....i dont think im that interesting....this may take a while....lol:

1) I used to sing. Not professionally or anything, but choir, talent shows, plays, etc. I really loved to sing and i was pretty good (i think) anyway, I was taking lessons for a while and my teacher found out that i smoked (ooh thats another one..) and she wouldn't teach me until i quit.....i didn't quit smoking but i quit lessons.....i probably should have stopped the smoking....lol

2) I used to smoke.....i smoked for 16 years. I stopped after i started seeing adam. He said he wouldn't kiss me if i continued to smoke....so i stopped.....cold turkey.....i guess i wasn't that addicted to it huh? more of a habit i think.

3) I can only eat peas raw. I HATE cooked peas. I think it goes back to my grandmother's garden that she had where she grew peas and i would go in there and pick the pods open and eat the peas. Just cant eat them cooked....blech!

4) I think my hair has been every color and cut imagineable. When i was 14 or 15, there was this guy that lived across the street from me who was older and i had a crush on, he had a girlfriend that had blond hair, and so, i came to the conclusion that all guys loved blonds so i went into the bathroom and dumped a bottle of peroxide on my head and my hair turned a reddish blond.....maybe a little orange...lol....but that lead to a long line of hair colors....blond...really blond....and very big.....i was a rocker chick.....i should really find a pic and post it for laughs....it was black (my "i wanna be a vampire days") red, and brown.....i had it short, long, curly, straight....honestly, i dont know how i still have hair....

5) When i was younger, i had a birthday party that only one girl showed up to....apparently it was the same day as another girl at school's party and everyone went there instead. It was very sad and i remember that my mom got me a hula hoop as one of my presents and i didn't even care about it. It scarred me for life.

6) My first car was a Ford Probe...I loved that car.....her name was Suzie...i dont know why her name was suzie.....it had no air/heat....my sister used to take it to school and someone hit her and totalled my car :(

7) I used to be thin......when i graduated high school i was 97 pounds....I was really thin with big boobs....lol.....but i never knew how to use that to my advantage....lol....I actually hate my chest...still to this day.....i just think it makes me look heavier than i am.....because im so short...its hard to buy clothes. Thank god, i lost a little bit of them from working out.....

Well I guess that's it for now.....

Who can i tag (dont kill me :)
1) April
2) Amy
3) Beka
4) Sydney
5) Stacy
6) Chantal
7) Tracey

Dare to dream

Tony had asked me to find someone that i would want to look like.....Well that's impossible because I will never come close to looking like any of these gals...but one can dream!

And I cannot forget my muse.....Amy

abs hurt

my abs hurt. I didn't think they did, until i laughed a little while ago. They felt tight, but not sore. Now i feel the soreness....i love it :)

I had shoulders and biceps today. I will definitely feel that tomorrow...im already tight. But i like the fact that when you really concentrate on the muscles, you can actually feel certain ones working....its really cool. I can feel them more now than when i started working out. My control is better, my breathing, everything.

I am on week 13 now. I really need to take pictures, especially since the last ones i took were from week 5 or 6??? god i hope there is a difference! That would really suck otherwise.

I may go take a walk soon....the building is having a fire drill in here at 10:30 and i hate that stupid alarm.....it is soo loud and annoying.

Anyway.....i need to find a new bathing suit. I ordered two from VS but i had to return them both.....i always try them but they have no boob support whatsoever! I dont know why i even bother....they never fit.

ehhh...i think that's all i got right now.....

crazy house

Had a great workout this morning. I had abs and cardio.....with a Tony challenge. He asked me to see if i could run 15 minutes straight. He told me i probably wouldn't be able to do it but to try, and that it was a challenge :) Well i did it....and i felt wonderful.....i mean i didn't run at full high speed for the entire time, but i ran from 5.0-5.8....i am pretty proud of myself. I just dont like to run that much.....its kinda boring (sorry to all you runners out there) ...well running on a treadmill is boring, i should say...being outside is probably a whole different ballgame. But it was a nice little challenge for me and i would like to keep it up. I felt good after.

Anyway, last night i ran over my aunt's house for her birthday. My cousins were there and i wanted to ask them to be bridesmaids so i stopped over there and of course, i was bombarded with questions and crazy children. My cousin Carla and her husband Anthony has three kids (9, 6, and 1) and my cousin Gina and her husband Matt have two (12, 9)...anyway, Carla says "oh AJ will look so cute in a tux" And her husband goes, "Carla are you crazy, you do not take a baby to a wedding....and i dont want any of the kids there...ang, are kids even invited?" Well, i say, I haven't made a final decision on it" and Matt and Anthony are like NO....then we are stuck watching all the kids because they are in the wedding and we cant drink or anything....dont do it" Then my cousin Gina was like "well i dont have to watch mine they are old enough" But after being in that crazy house for an hour, my mind got made up quick. No kids! I was considering having them because i was going to have Carla's middle one, Jenna, as my flowergirl since she is my goddaughter. But i can't do it. Their kids, shall we say, are not the most well behaved children in the world.....nicely put. I actually had a severe stress headache after i left there. It sooo made up my mind and was actually instant birth control......I don't know if im just getting old, or what, but 5 kids, in a little house, with 7 adults, trying to talk, just made me love my life with my dog even more !

118

Well i weighed in this morning....118! finally...down 1.5 pounds! It was wonderful to finally get past that 119.5....that was torture....

well i went and looked at dresses today....found one! Strapless no less....everyone was telling me how flattering it was on me....and how tiny i was on top! that was a shock! My sister cried, my mom loved it, a couple of ladies shopping in the store told me they liked it...i actually was tossed between the strapless and a halter one.....but i went with the strapless....and to top it all off..it wasn't that expensive at all!

My only issue is my arms....i definitely need to put extra effort into losing the fat on my arms so i will look good in this dress! I can't believe i have a dress! Very exciting!

Happy mothers day to all the mommies out there!!

Have a good weekend....

one day down

This tomato juice v8 thing still sucks. Only two more days of it...thank god :)

I need food. Im hungry. turkey and chicken ain't cutting it. i miss my oatmeal already !

I am doing a weigh in on Saturday after this.....i should be down a pound or two..especially since the scale hasn't moved in a few weeks.....

I was all excited the other day taking my summer clothes out....i thought to myself, i have a lot of capri pants for summer.......yeah....well i wore a pair today.....the crotch is down my thigh. Too big....i told my mom....she said "you should be happy they are big" I said I am but I dont have the money to go and buy all new pants!

On another note. i made an appointment to go and look for wedding dresses....i can't picture myself wearing a wedding dress for some reason.....im just weirded out by the whole thing...i never thought or pictured myself wearing one.

I am going to try and take a picture of my ring, but im not sure it will come out nice.

We shall see.

gross

I have to drink V8 with ACV and cayenne pepper for the next 4 days, 2xs a day....im going to die! I got through today....it was tough....i dont know how im going to make it through the next three......this better make a difference!

There is a reason why i don't go out on the weekends. First off, because of the money. Second, my diet regime goes out the window. Friday night i went out to dinner for my girlfriend's birthday. I didn't eat that bad but i had wine....and a few bites of dessert. Saturday, there was this festival in Center City, and we ate at a mexican restaurant up there. Not good. Then yesterday, i had a bridal shower to attend. They only had finger sandwiches and a pasta salad. So again, bad.

On another note, im officially engaged. Adam proposed with my ring on saturday night. I love my ring!

Now, its really real and i only have 9 months to do everything!

Tony gave me a new eating plan for the next 4 days....hopefully, i will lose something since i had my weigh in on saturday, and i again stayed the same. I have to break through this plateau! I have to really push myself this week! Im pumped! Bring it on!

Need clothes?

Do you see how big my work pants are?



I look so frumpy. I took this in my work's bathroom....you can tell how much i feel like working today. Still have a LONG way to go, and a lot more to lose....i need smaller clothes, so i dont look like a bag lady!

I am so tired. Yesterday, just before i was about to leave work for the day, the friggin fire alarm goes off and there was apparently a fire somewhere....well 15 minutes of waiting, i head down the stairs...im on the 32nd floor mind you.....my legs were rubber by the time i got down to the ground. There is a Salad Works in my building and something must have caught fire...jackasses! And to top off my tired legs...guess what my workout was this morning???? LEGS! You have no idea how i could just collapse right now.

damn easter candy

why do people find it necessary to take in leftover easter candy to work and put it in front of me?? Yes people, i don't know why my willpower is dying for some reason, but i ate like 10 jellybeans!!!!!!!!!

What is wrong with me???? A few weeks ago, i would NEVER have even looked at a jelly bean, let alone eat one! I hate myself! I know im only sabotaging all my hard work....i need to get my focus back! I need to get that strict mentality back. I think i know the problem.... I know that i am starting to look better and getting thinner, so im thinking, i can eat this, it wont hurt me!!!!

But that is exactly what got me how i was before!

I need to stop..NOW!

Fucking jelly beans.