Happy New Years!!!!!

Well its New Years eve....i actually have no plans this year...which is fine.  I made dinner reservations for me and Adam for 7:00...but not sure if we are going to just stay home instead...but at least we have them in case.  Its pretty crappy out today...snow/rain mixture....and tomorrow will be the end of my eating....my sister has an open house on new years day...since we have the Mummers Day Parade and she is right off the path of the parade...but since the weather will be crappy, not sure if it will be crazy or not....all i know is that i am glad this year is over.  Not because it was a bad year...but im just glad that the holidays themselves are done so i can get back to being in control of my food intake....its so hard during this time of year...with all the cookies and candy and crap everywhere....ugh!  Im done!

I got the pictures i ordered from KY Muscle...from the photographer...i only got the 4x6 pics...i have to scan them and post them...they are ok..but you can still see that i need to put on some muscle and get rid of my bottom half....all in time i guess.

All i know is that i feel that i gained weight again that took me so long to lose....all for sugar....and processed food..will i ever learn?  I doubt it..>LOL! 

I dont really make new years resolutions....but my goal for this year is to just be the best me i can....and to stay in control of my life....

Me and April are going to the Arnold again!!! YIPPEE!!!!  I cant miss our annual reunion ;)  So much fun!!!!

Who else is going this year?? 

Well i hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve/day...and 2010 will be wonderful...i just know it :)

wannabe?

Im trying to figure out something....am i a wanna be? 

I sometimes think that i am....i say i want to get the best body...to compete and win.....to be a contender....but yet, i am not doing what i need to do to get there.....

am i all talk?    Am i doing what it takes to get to that level? 

Honestly, right now....im saying no....im not doing what i should be doing....im eating crap when i shouldn't....my workouts aren't that great.....

i watch videos of figure girls, i read everything imaginable....but yet....i, myself am not doing it....

its all the holidays....parties, baking, shopping....not being prepared...so my meals are suffering...i know it...my husband knows it...my pants know it.

I still have that mentality that i deserve some time off.....i dont deserve it....i should have taken a day or two off from the gym.....had a few yummy meals...and then got back to it hardcore....but not me....i have to take advantage....and it is only going to hurt me....so why am i doing it?  And how do i stop?

I have so much work to do to be able to get where i need to be.....i need to get a grip.....and focus on what i want.....and pretend that im a month out from my show....if i was a month out i would never even think about eating off plan.....

i need to breathe....and refocus.....only a few more days till christmas right?

My Review of 2432

Originally submitted at OhNuts.com

2432

powerful

By angela from philadelphia, PA on 12/21/2009

 

3out of 5

Pros: Tasty

Cons: Strong

When these first came i was really excited about them...they sounded soo good! And they were! The only criticism that i have of them is that the cinnamon coating was really strong...but if you just pop one in your mouth before biting it, it was a lot better :) They are sweet, with a bit of chocolate and cinnamon....i would definitely recommend them to others...especially if you love cinnamon!

(legalese)

My Review

Originally submitted at OhNuts.com

This pecan is a unique blend of cranberry infused flavor and cinnamon spice. Each bite is a soft yet somewhat crunchy experience.

YUM!

By angela from philadelphia, PA on 12/21/2009

 

5out of 5

Gift: No

These pecans were so good. They were sweet but not overly too sweet..just perfect :)

(legalese)

bored

I have been playing with the idea of  moving to wordpress....i designed a page, added links to it...basically copied this whole blog to wordpress...but i dont know if im diggin it too much.....i am so used to blogger...i know all the ins and outs of it....but wordpress has snow ;)  There are things on blogger that i like....the blog roll is updated by newest entry...i cant figure out if wordpress has that.....i like the little tabs on the top on wordpress...but would i use them? 

I get bored and i want to change things....but why?  If i like it here....why am i trying to switch?  I guess its boredom ;)

***

Last night me and my mom went to the mall to go christmas shopping....i got the majority done...adam is done, my mom and dad are done...kids are done....all i have left is little odds and ends....

I have to figure out what i am doing as far as baking.  i have to make 7 tins of chocolate covered pretzels for Angelica's teachers.  I want to make THESEand THESE  ...and maybe add them to the tins....we'll see :)

Tonight i have to go to see Angelica's christmas recital at her school....i want to try and get adam to run back to the mall afterwards...i need two little gifts.  

***

Question:

My family (if you read my blog you know) revolves everything around food....well Christmas Eve we do the "7 Fishes" which mostly consists of fried food....my mom makes fried shrimp, bacala(cod..battered and fried), clams casino, crabs and spaghetti, cocktail shrimp, smelts (some gross fish) and i actually cant remember what else....anyway....i was thinking of bringing a few dishes (maybe a salmon dish and maybe some sushi rolls??) that are a little healthier than all the fried stuff.....

so my question is this....do you think my mom will get insulted if i bring this up to her?  I want to say something but im afraid she will get upset. They put a lot of time and money into doing christmas eve dinner.  My husband even thinks all the fried food is crazy...and he is like me and even though he likes the fried stuff too, would rather eat a little better.

now dont get me wrong...i love all the food...but such a fattening dinner...along with all the desserts and everything...it gets to be a little too much....so at least if there is something healthier there....i wont eat as much of the bad stuff if i eat the healthier food. 

Because i have to get in the swing of things....this saturday will be 27 weeks i think??  Something like that....i need to make real changes this year....because im coming home with a figure girl  trophy this year!!!!

what can i say?

Diet isn't great...workouts are pretty good.....cardio needs to be kicked up a notch.....im tired....and i still have so much christmas shopping to do....i wrote out my christmas cards...didn't mail them yet.....im making incomplete sentences....sorry :)

I wanted to post something since its been a week....i am not all peppy today so my mind is all jumbled....i will leave you all with cuteness :)  My nephew makes me smile :)

New Look

Motivation is the key to success right?  Welll my header is my new motivation :)  These women are a direct result of dedication, consistance and persistance....which is what i need.....i have no consistancy in my diet right now...and its hurting me. 

Instead of looking at this time as a basis to improve and grow and work on what i need to for next year, here i am, eating pretty good...not perfect....and slipping into the "ive got plenty of time" mentality again!  Skipping on the cardio...picking on things i shouldn't....all because i think i can....when really i should be more strict in order to make the changes that i want! 

I have a lot of body changes to make.....which is going to take a lot of work....i need to get back into the groove!

I cannot have an "off-season"  I have to be in constant control of my workouts/nutrition.  If this is what i want to do...i need to realize what needs to be done....i always have an excuse....and im not going to change and get better if i keep making excuses. 

This is my life...and if this is a goal of mine....i need to put in the time and the work...that is all there is to it.  No one is making me do this....I want this....and i will not get back on that stage again if i dont look like i belong on that stage.  And i will look like i belong ;)

So this is my new look....and i am going to have one too.....yes, it will take time....but with time, the look that i need to belong up there will come as well. 

I know i can do this.....if i just believe that i can...and that will probably be one of the most difficult parts of it all....believing in myself.   Believing that i can do this!!!  That i can push myself to get to a place where i have never reached before....I want Top 5....i want to be lean, tight, strong, ready....i want to be able to be proud of myself and know that i gave 110% all the time with no regrets. 

So with that being said....i am going to try and post more.....my workouts, my food...i need to hold myself accountable for all to see :) 

I need that structure....i need that focus....without it, i have nothing to strive for....i need goals. 

I am waiting for the new NPC schedule to come out....i already have my first show picked out....yes...it is the show that i have been trying to do now for 2 years......the Tracey Greenwood Classic....its in Philly for God's sake!  No travel, i can go home in between...its perfect!  I have let myself down too many times.....i wont do it again....so i will be on that stage in June....it will be a week after my 38th birthday (yes im old)...but it will be my birthday gift to myself :)  What a better gift than taking home a little figure girl :)

Wednesday :)

Hello peeps!

Well this morning started off wonderfully...i finally got my butt out of bed and got some good old EMC in before heading to the gym :)  AND i even did a load of clothes!  Yay me!!  LOL!  I really feel so much better when i get up and hop on the treadmill....i really need to just get up and do it.

I got to the gym and it was actually busier than usual for some reason....i did legs today...some wide leg presses, dead lifts, one legged weighted lunges, leg extension, leg curls, step ups, adductors, and abductors...(I think that was it)...i will definitely be sore as the week goes on.....

Well I am finally doing one of my many product reviews....

Christopher at Element Bars was kind enough to send me a bar to taste...Amanda's Livestrong....it contained oats, honey, brown sugar, almonds, organic flax seeds, baby m&ms, Vanilla, sea salt...everything pure and natural....it was really a tasty bar!  I would definitely try them!  And the best part of their company is that you can actually build your own bars...you pick out the ingredients, they make them and ship them right out to you!  How cool is that???

(yes that is the bar with a bite mark ;)..LOL)

The bar had 253 calories, 6g fat and 5 grams protein....if i made my own, i would definitely add more protein too it but for a little snack this was perfect :)  They are a little pricey, (approximately $36.00 for 12 bars) but they say you get what you pay for, and if you are looking for a bar that is healthy and natural, these bars are it.  I  would definitely order some but not until after the holidays, when i have money again! 

Oh and back to the gym....I had said that one of my goals for the end of the year was to do an unassisted pull up...i did 3 sets on the assisted machine...10x70, 8x50, and 3x30....so i got in 3 at basically 70% of my body weight....i will get there..one of the girls at the gym was telling me to do yoga...that a lot of upper body strength is needed for yoga and she is always sore afterward...so maybe i will try and incorporate it a day or so??  I should get the PX90 and do that yoga..im sure that would kick my butt ;)

well i guess that is my update for today :)

tuesday :)

Well i guess since im back at work today, i should blog  ;) 

Thanksgiving was very nice....ate too much of course....then friday was Adam's birthday so we went out to dinner and to see Planet 51 with angelica.  It was cute....but not worth telling people to go see it....

Saturday started decorating and cleaning (still not done) and then saturday night went to a bar/restaurant with Adam's friend and his wife...so i had a drink there and ate bad...

Sunday we took a ride to AC for an overnight stay at the casino.  I had booked it months ago for Adam's birthday....we went to dinner (again) and hung out....gambled a bit..didn't win of course.....yesterday we were off work and we went shopping and then came home.

My parents had my doggie and we went and picked him up...he was so happy to see me :)  Gotta love that!

****
Genie was telling me how she has her cat shaved because there is hair everywhere....well i get it from both the cat and the dog...so i know hair....i may try and have the cat shaved....he would look so silly....but it would make me laugh right?  LOL!

***
I have a few product reviews to do....and man im lazy with these reviews...but not lazy about eating them! 

I will get to it..promise :)

****
Fitness front---

well my weight is up a bit from my show...which is to be expected i guess...and eating out will definitely add the pounds on...so im on a clean diet from now until christmas...for the most part...i got a new diet from Mike and it has two cheat meals on it so hopefully i can keep it that way...i think my main thing is to get back to the cardio....i need to get up and do my EMC again.....i always felt so much better and my day was better when i was doing it...but i got lazy and stopped it.....which is another reason why i guess the weight isn't moving at all...well it will keep going up if i dont do something about it!

I have a few goals for this upcoming year...

1)  to do unassisted pull up(s)
2)  to be able to run a full mile without stopping--im getting there...im so used to do doing intervals its hard to not make myself stop!
3)  get this fat off my legs and ass!---that is actually #1 ;)
4)  be ready to compete again in June and be able to do another show in the fall...i definitely dont want to just do one show this year....
5)  put on some muscle---definitely shoulders :)  My favorite! 
6)  a very far fetched goal--but still a goal nevertheless--make top 5 at a show. 

So with that in mind...i have got to get back in the game mentally and not think that this holiday season is just a free for all...and actually do something this season....

****

Anyone have plans for New Years?  We usually go to our friends house but she is having a baby and is due on December 13th...so they wont be hosting a party.....so now we have no plans....we were thinking about going somewhere but it will be impossible to get reservations anywhere especially flying somewhere..and the money is also an issue too!   So who knows what we will do!!!

well i guess that is all i got for now.....

Happy Thanksgiving everyone :)

Honest Scrap Award

Well since my lovely  friend April tagged me for the Honest Scrap Award which asks me to divulge 10 Truths then tag 7 more bloggers who I think will be 100% truthful.  Lets see if i can do this....

1.   I hate to clean...i only clean because i have to...i desperately want to hire a cleaning lady.

2.   I want to shave my cat because i cant take all the cat hair everywhere

3.   Sometimes i want children...until they start crying....or until they poop...then i realize how much i like my dog.

4.    I am constantly worried that people watch everything i eat because im supposed to be "healthy" and then if i eat something im not supposed to, that they talk about me behind my back.

5.  I love my family but they always make me feel guilty!  My parents and my sister and her husband's family are constantly together and i am always asked to go over...and it drives me crazy...i like to be able to go home and relax and do my own thing every once in a while...but then i feel guilty all the time! 

6.   I didn't drink coffee until i was in my late 20s...i had this "thing" with coffee....my mom used to use the perculated coffee maker when i was young and it always had the coffee grinds in the bottom of her mug...and i would ask what it was and she said it was "cockys"  (meaning bad) so i always associated coffee with bad??  (Strange, i know.LOL)

7.    I "grew" boobs around the summer going into 8th grade....i had a cute little shirt that had a "T" on it with teddy bear cheerleaders on it.....and all the boys used to tease me saying that the T was for....(ya know)..i never wore that shirt again!

8.    I have a very hard time budgeting my money....i cant save money for the life of me!

9.    I cant wear pajama pants to bed...or socks....i can only wear t-shirts...but i wear my cozy pjs around the house :)

10.   i want to get remarried so i can have thinner wedding pictures...i hate my arms in my pics!

Ok...i guess that is it...im not going to tag anyone because i think everyone in my little circle was already hit :)

show recap

Well i never really did a recap to KY Muscle...April did a pretty good job going through it all though ;)

My plane took off at 7:25 am and was early arriving in Indy...I called April when i got my baggage and she was already on her way...she picked me up and we were on our way to KY....made a few stops and we got to the Galt House around noonish?  We were able to check in and our room was really nice..... i got the suite instead of the room....so we had more room to make a mess...LOL!  

After we brought everything up to the room (including April's mom's microwave...thank you april's mommy) we were able to relax a bit....so we took a nap :)  Woke up, ate, and got ready to go down for our check in and get our cool NPC ID cards :)

After that was over...we began the lovely task of tanning!  UGH!!!!  Tanning is the biggest pain in the ass ever!  It is so worth that extra $100.00 to get sprayed....so next time...definitely going wtih the spray!

So saturday came and we were up around 6:00 i think?  Did another coat of tan and then got dressed and started make-up...

i was a greasy mess...i was so shiney all day...no matter how much powder i used...i was just oily for some reason.....as you can see....

April isn't though :)

Went to the hall to get our #s and i was #12 :) 

We had to be back at 12:30 for prejudging...when i first got on stage i was shaking sooo bad!  It was horrible!  I didn't even think i did my quarter turns right....i was just so nervous...and i wish i would have just taken a deep breath or something right before...but it just went so fast and honestly i have no idea what i did...prejudging was until about 2:30...went back to the room...crashed again....woke up...and went back for the night show.....neither of us really even wanted to go back..we just wanted to eat :)  So night show was long....i didn't get off stage until after 10:00!

 Here is April in line at the night show :)

We left, got back to the room, took showers and ate...crashed on sugar and fell asleep...LOL!

TO BE CONTINUED......(i have to go to sleep....LOL)

my brain hurts

Hi all...i have so much to write about....from my show experience (yes, just like my friend April...I too came in last place)  to posting the few pics that i did take (which are basically the same as April's) along with doing a review of the samples that i received from Vitalicious and another product review of Newman's Organics! 

Honestly...right now i dont have it in me.....

I had a cry fest after seeing my pics (please dont even go look for them...they are horrible)....adam had a long talk with me...and a lot of what he was saying was true.....it takes time.....time to build muscle, time to get rid of all of the fat that i have on my body....i have come a long way.....i know that...but it still sucks!  I still worked hard.....and for that i am happy.....i had a wonderful time with April....she is my  right hand and i wish we lived closer!!!!  I got to meet Genie (even if it was only for a second ;)..LOL)  She is too cute!!!

The whole competition experience is wonderful....i love it....as exhausting as it is, i love it!  I love the fact that everyone who is there has the same outlook....the same goals written on their calendars....some are more competitive, of course, but most are there to have a good time and to strut their stuff on stage!   You dont see anybody being catty or mean.  Im glad that i have had such a good experience with that. 

I have a lot to work on......and i have two sides to me.. the angel and the devil...one side says to go for it and try to be the best possible me and work hard and dont stop and strive or top 5 at a show....and then the other part of me (the negative me) says that i will never be able to place or get where i need to be so why even bother?? 

Im torn......do you quit something you like to do because its hard and dont know what you can accomplish at the end or do you push yourself and make yourself into something that you want?   Yes its good to have a goal...but what if that goal is something that you could never attain?  what if you go through it all again....and you give it 110% the whole time and still dont end up where you should?  Is that worse than not doing it at all?  Is just wondering if you could do it enough?  Is failing at something you want so bad worth the pain afterwards? 

The past two shows i have done to get my feet wet..to get the stage experience....and i didn't care how i placed...i did it to hang out with my friends and to make new ones....but when you see that last place standing...it kinda sucks.....and i dont want to be there anymore....so again...do i hang up my hooker heels and say it was fun, or do i get back in that gym and build myself a body that deserves top 5???

that is the question i keep asking myself......

3 days to go!

well here we are....its wednesday....the wednesday before my show....well my and April's show....i cannot wait to see her!!!    Its going to be so much fun!  Even though i get to eat and drink more than her ;)

This final prep week has been so different than last go around.....i actually get to eat and drink water!!  I am a little nervous about this....since last time i had a dry out....so my mind is playing tricks on me....i am going to continue to trust my trainer.....he knows his stuff.....and just see what happens.....its all i can do....trust the process is what i have been told....so far, so good.....i am looking at it this way too....if nothing else changes in my body from now until saturday....then i will look like i do now....with a tan.....and that isn't so bad :)

Weight was still 105.2 this morning.....but all in all, I must say that this has been a pretty enjoyable prep....i enjoy this process and until i really stop and think about it, it just goes by and i don't let it settle in....i need to realize what an accomplishment it is to just have the discipline to do this sport....yeah, my body still has plenty of improvements to make...but i will get there....this is a journey...and i need to remember that.....i have goals that i want to accomplish...and i know that i will only continue to get better, as long as i stay focused and i realize how great this sport is!  Now, don't get me wrong...at times it sucks....not being able to be "normal" and having to stay in and missing parties, going to dinner, and not seeing family as much, etc...but as i continue to get older, i am realizing that you have to live for yourself too....I have always been the person who puts everyone else first before me.  Doing this, you have to become a little selfish...and its hard sometimes....because i get grief from my family and friends....im not asking them to eat what i eat...im not asking them to do what i do.....but yet, i get made to feel like im doing something wrong.....and i know im not.....im doing something that only a small percentage of people can do....and i have to remember that!

This guy came up to me yesterday morning in the gym....i see him every once in a while and we wave to each other.....well yesterday he came up to me and i took my headphone off...he said to me "you are such an inspiration to me....you are here every day...no matter what.....your dedication is amazing"....I said thank you!  That really meant a lot....he said "it is hard for me to get here 2-3 times a week, but no matter what, you are here!"    WOW!  See?  You never know who notices what you do....it felt good...it made me smile :)

So this afternoon i am going to get my nails and toes done.  Tonight i will be making some more food, 7 layer bars and getting some stuff packed....tomorrow i took a half day from work and i am going to make brownies and Paula Deen's Gooey Butter cakes...yum!!!!  Then i have to go and get my hair blown out and finish packing!   I cant believe its here and i know it will be over before you know it....

Hopefully i will be able to post from my phone.....or at least post on facebook ;)  Now you know why i had to have the iphone before christmas ;)  Just for this reason :)

And I really wanted to thank all of you who have posted comments on my blog...it really means a lot to me :)

And i really want to thank April....just for being such a wonderful friend :)  I would never have been able to do this without her!  Even though she is miles away....i feel like she is always right there with me :)   It is so crazy...how a friendship can grow even though we only see each other a couple times a year!  I talk to her more than my friends who live here!  She is the best!!!! Love that girl!!!!   : )

Well i will try and update tomorrow and over the weekend :)   Damn...where the hell did the time go???

BYE :)

6 more days!!!

Wow!  I cannot believe its here!  Im feeling ok....weight is at 105.6....i just wish i had more muscle...im just basically skinny....here is a front and side pic....Im hoping i come in ok for show day...this peak week is a lot different than last time....so i will probably look like this....with a tan....LOL!

Im trying to just stay positive and focused...i know im not going to place...im just here to have fun....with my buddy April :)  That is all that matters!  Oh and the yummy food afterwards!!!

Im getting excited and scared and freaked out and its all good!!





 
(Oh, and by the way..that isn't my side pose..dont worry...i was actually trying to do the correct pose and the timer went off...but i thought the pic came out ok...LOL)

11 days

I needed to update!  I cant have TGIF up there..its tuesday!  LOL!

So...lets see....11 days to go....panic sets in every once in a while....i know im not going to look great...i know my ass is not what it should be....but i also have to give myself some credit....im working my butt off (no pun intended)....im giving it my all...and that is what counts right?

I feel thinner than last time...i feel tighter than last time....but im still not "stage" ready....i wont be that way this time....but im getting there....and my next show....i will be ready....

but in the meantime...i need to stay confident...i need to have a positive mindset....all this negativity is not getting me anywhere...and i know i need to stop...but its really hard....its so easy to put yourself down....but to make yourself sound good?  that is difficult!

What needs to happen is that after the show....and we eat...i need to get a quick handle on my food....especially with the holidays coming.....i have to keep up with my cardio and eating clean....treats here and there...but im not doing what i did last year....

I cant wait to see April....i cant wait to hang out and get all prettied up ;)  I just need to relax and enjoy the ride...cause its gonna be a bumpy one ;)

TGIF

I wanted some motivation for today :)  This is IFBB Pro Valerie Haines.  She is doing the KY Pro...the same show as me....

This is Terry Turner....she is also doing the KY Pro....

And I think they are both so incredible and i would love to look like either of them!  I have spoken to both of them a few times back and forth and I am actually going to get to meet them in person!  how cool is that??? Im very excited!!!  But also on the same hand...my body does not even come close to either of them!  Im trying...i am....not happening.....yet ;)

I found a beautiful pair of earrings today at this little store near my work....they were like $40.00 which isn't so bad.....i may get them.  They were kinda big though....but sparkly :)

So this weekend will be 2 weeks out!  I have to do pics and send them out....hopefully some changes have been made in the last week or two.....i hope so...cause i need it.

Weight was 107.2 this morning.....I got up and did 30 min EMC and then hit the gym for chest and some abs...more abs and cardio tonight.

We have angelica tonight because tomorrow is halloween.....she has a cold though and im panicking because i dont want her to be giving me her cold....everyone around is sick and (knock on wood) i have been avoiding it...but since we are going to be sleeping in the same room (because Adam's brother is still with us and is in Angelica's room) I am going to have to sleep on the air mattress...or she is.....whichever way..but im not going to be near her! 

Her birthday is Monday and I was going to have her cake tonight but since she has a cold, my sister doesn't want the baby to catch her cold either, so we have to do it next week sometime...oh what a pain..i hate having to put it off for her!  I feel bad...but there is nothing that can be done about it...we are going to do her presents and stuff tonight but cake will have to wait i guess.

My sister had my nephew's pictures done yesterday for "fall/halloween"......he is too cute!!

 Well...if im brave enough...i will post progress pics....

I also wanted to give a shout out to Becca, Jessica and Genie who are competing tomorrow!!!  Good Luck Girls!!!!

tuesday :)

I needed to move those pics down....LOL!

18 days and counting......weight was 107.6 this morning.....had shoulders and got in 30 min EMC. 

Last night i did 45 min treadmill, 20 min stepper and some abs.  Made dinner...ahi tuna and brown rice. 

Watched Heroes and took a bath and went to bed....i was tired!!!!

My husband's brother is staying with us for a few days and its really hard...its not good when u dont feel comfortable in your own house.  I hate having to worry about being dressed all the time, not leaving anything around, etc.  Its hard...im dealing with it....but i want my little life back.  You dont realize what you have and what type of groove your life is in until its distrupted. 

So tonight Adam has to take Angelica to Karate....i dont want to go home and be there with just him...so i am going to go to my sisters until adam picks me up.  But i dont mind cause tonight is Biggest Loser and i like to do my cardio later on tuesdays so i can watch it  while i am on the treadmill :)  But just the fact that i cant go into my house and be in peace....that bothers me....hopefully it wont be too long.....

19 days...

Quick update.....a little less than 3 weeks left..weight 107.4....Im so not ready!  I dont know what im going to look like come show day.  Im leaning out ok...except my ass.....and legs....and the fact that i have no muscle on me whatsoever.....LOL!  I hate me.....here is a front and side pic....dont be grossed out ;)  No ass pics!  Blech!

and now...to top it all off.....my throat is starting to hurt....i CANNOT get sick right now.....still too far to go!!!  Please say a prayer that i dont get sick.....cause if i do...im done!  I dont think i will be able to make up for any lost time....

if that happens...i may be watching April from the audience instead of backstage  :)

24 days and counting.....

Well we are 24 days away....

Body is slimming down.....still waiting for my ass to slim more and my abs to show more but im getting there.

I just feel like time is going by so quickly and i am not going to be ready.  I want to be able to not stress so much about this...i wish  i was at a point in my life (body wise) where i could just be like 3-4 weeks out and say "im ready" and then just watch for the last few weeks and relax...i really dont ever see that happening...but....its a dream :)

Cynthia--i want to thank you so much for your comments on my last post....it really struck home with me....i never give myself credit for anything i do and i dont know why i always sell myself short...i guess its just a lack of confidence thing with me...i never had it....hopefully as i age, i will start to get it ;)

I am loving my diet right now....yes i said it....im 4 weeks out and i still have some carbs in my diet and, with that, some energy....i haven't weighed myself..im trying to stay away from that dang scale...but last saturday i was still at 109.  For my first show i was at 104 so i should definitely get there...hopefully a little less (fingers crossed) .

I want to get my head in order for this show....i have my plane ticket, my hotel, my suit, my shoes...i still need to get more tanner...i am using the same suit as last year.....im comfortable in it, it fits, and its pretty...next year i will definitely get the red suit ive been dreaming about ;)  I want to figure out my make-up...i want a warm-up suit, and i told April i am making and taking  THESE with me!!

This is my suit...what color eye makeup would go well with this?  Last year i think i used plums???

I definitly need to practice the fake eyelash thing...because i had a lot of trouble last year with them...April, you did them for me didn't you?  LOL!

Well i guess that is all i got for now.....

tick toc, tick toc....time is a tickin......

Wow...its been over a week since i have posted....i am really bad at this!  LOL!

I just have so much going on and then i wind up spending so much time reading other stuff i never get a chance to write myself. 

So lets see....4.5 weeks out....so not ready......I have decided to just accept my fate and be the fat mess who shouldn't be up there...and just go for the hang out session with April. 

Im trying not to get too stressed out about it...but time is going by way to fast.   

Don't get me wrong....my clothes are huge, my boobs are shrinking....even my ass is going down some...but its still not "stage" ready.  Last year i did the show and i really didn't care either...it was more of a hang out thing too....

Which really brings me to this....i need to get my head on straight.....see the thing is, i dont really look at it as "competing"...i look at it as setting a goal for myself and going through with that goal..  I have never been a competitive person....i dont care if i win, or if i loose.....dont get me wrong...i want one of those figure girl trophies....but im not going to cry and get upset over it when i dont get one......i would probably just get down on myself more for not pushing myself harder, etc. 

But that drive....to win....i really dont have that....and im not sure if that is a good or bad thing???  I guess its good....

there are girls that do these shows just to get into magazines and to do photo shoots and be a spokesperson or whatever.....i have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do that...im too shy and im not comfortable doing those types of things.....i just want to be the best me that i can....i want the muscle, the tiny waist....i loved the excitement and nervousness of being on stage....that made me happy...i love training and the commitment...i love the sport...and doing my first show last year and being able to do that show with 3 friends with all their  support all the way through.....that made it all the better :)  

I just want to get to the point where i can just keep improving......to get rid of the fat on me....to be lean, have some muscle, and to be able to maybe compete, and feel confident and be happy with myself.  Right now, i dont have that.

I have some goals....i  want to be able to continue to compete and maybe make it to the top 5....im not going to go nuts if i dont....but if i really want to go forward with these goals ...i would love to make it to a national stage!  Just to get there...that would be amazing!! Because all those girls are amazing......and to be able to get my body to that level would be the greatest gift of all. 

Monday

Hello!

Today the alarm went off at 5:00...i got out of bed at 5:19....i only hit the snooze 2xs...not too bad for a monday ;)  Did 32 minutes of cardio and came up and had my oats and prunes and coffee and got ready to hit the gym.  Leg day!  And i really pushed them...i hope not too hard though....but i was very wobbly by the end....so we shall see.  I have been doing my deadlifts off the bench to try and get more of a hamstring stretch going....which in turn is what is probably making my legs hurt.  LOL!!

At lunch i did the fire exit stairs for 15 minutes.  Up and down 10 flights about 3 or 4 times....not sure if this was a good idea doing it on leg day, but i have to try and do the stairs maybe 3xs a week if possible....and it also keeps me from going out at lunch time and spending money ;)

Speaking of spending money......i booked my flight today for the show!!!!!  WOW! This makes it really real..and time is a tickin.....40 days.....im getting a little concerned about not being ready....but as April told me....its a chance to hang out, have fun, and then have a wonderfully bad breakfast together on sunday :)

The good thing is that i have my iphone now and we can do video and pics and send them hopefully to blogger for all to see :)  I will have to do a test before hand to see if it works!

Diet will be changed at 5 weeks and then once i hit 3 weeks, pics and diet will be changed weekly!   Im liking this diet right now.....so hopefully it wont get too bad...we shall see.

I of course, have so many bad thoughts going through my head about not being ready....one of them is that this show is also a pro show....and two girls that i really look up to are doing this show and i really want to meet them and i dont want them to look at me and say "is she really getting up there looking like that?" 

This is how i think!!!!

Anyway.....i will try and stay positive through the rest of this journey.....i have to realize that if i stay focused and just look at this show as a step toward a better me next year, then i can cope...but i want to look like i belong up there....that is all. 

Hopefully make-up and tan will do wonders ;)

6 weeks out

Well i lied....its two days later.....

Workouts going great!  Getting most of my cardio in ;)    Im trying here!  Im tired!  LOL!

Weight this morning....109.0 

legs still flabby and gross!  Will they ever lean out?

This morning i was up early for some reason, so i got up, dressed and went food shopping...now im cooking for the week and trying to clean in between...but im making a mess cooking, so its like im going in a circle.

Adam is out watching football so i have the music blasting and im doing my thing....i wish i was neater....my mom keeps telling me "just do 15 minutes a night" to try and straighten up and then it wont be so bad....i will try...but i cant see it happening....LOL!

I still haven't booked my flight...i dont know what im waiting for.....i guess then the reality sets in.....but im running out of time, so i will probably book it this week.

I was going to get a new suit, but i may just wear what i have...again, waiting till the last minute, not going to have it in time....its fine...i will just save money doing it this way...but defiinitely next year a new one!

have a great sunday!

I will try and post this week  =)

I promise to update tomorrow.....i suck!  Too many other blogs to read.....plus, i actually do work sometimes ;)

yes im alive :)

Just wanted to let you all know that i am here....reading other blogs and running out of time to post on mine...

Training and diet are going great....a little less than 8 weeks out right now....weighing in around 111....still have a lot of lower body fat to get rid of...i honestly don't think it will ever go away!  But im hanging in there...pushing myself as hard as i can....

Loving this training though.....and this diet is a little time consuming with the prep work, but its working..and that is all that matters :)

I shall return......

Monday!

Another weekend has gone by.  Time is just flying.  Saturday was 9 weeks out.  I am super happy to say that my treadmill is now fixed!  Thank god!!!!!  I gave it a big hug on Friday after the guy who came to fix it left!  Going to the gym 2xs a day is murder! 

So now that the treadmill is fixed, I can now do what I need to----EMC and after work cardio! 

I was a little upset at my weight this morning...for some reason it was up a little...but im not going to get upset about it....I think it is all due to the fact that I only ate 3xs yesterday and probably only got in about 1 gallon of water (if that!)   But I did clean my kitchen, and my bedroom and I cooked some things for the week ;)

Weekends are bad for me as far as getting all my meals in....and my water....and this is crunch time so I better get my act together!  

So today I am back on track....I have gotten in over a gallon of water already and I have eaten 4 times....

I got in 35 minutes of EMC....then hit the gym for legs....I have been doing a lot of plyos and lunges and squats and stuff so I hope that this will really help in trimming my legs down a bit. 

Tonight I will do some more cardio, make dinner and then I have to run to the store to get some stuff in for the week! 

•    chicken
•    asparagus
•    spinach
•    yams
•    eggs

I think that is it???  The norm....Im sure there is more....I cant think....LOL!

Thursday is my mom’s birthday...we were going to go out on Thursday to dinner but she said we are going to go on Saturday instead....I have to be careful about where we go.....I think we are supposed to go to a steak place...which should be ok....everything is cooked on these big fire grilled stoves....so I will get my fish or my chicken...and I know they have yams...so I should be fine!  No more cheats! 

I have to see if my diet/workouts will be changing after this week...since I will be getting closer to show time :)

Im getting excited....my legs better cooperate!!!!

Wednesday :)

Hello :)

Im still here....i get so busy reading everyone's blog that i never post myself! 

Diet is going well....workouts are great!  I think im starting to lean out finally.....i can tell cause my boobs are the first to go!  Adam even commented that he can start to see my abs :)  YAY!!!

Treadmill is still down...the guy is coming on friday...which means i have to take another day off work to get this done..but i am so tired of going to the gym 2xs a day!  its annoying!! So i told my mom that maybe we would go shopping afterwards...she loves IKEA....so i told her we would go there on Friday afternoon :)

Nothing else exciting really going on....my life basically consists of waking up, going to the gym, going to work, going back to the gym, cooking and going to bed. 

I am excited that all the new shows are starting soon!!!!

HEROES.....and.....

starts tonight!!!  YAY!!!!

Cannot wait!!!

Already less than 11 weeks out!

Wow...see i knew it...time was just going to fly by!

September is here and before you know it, it will be Halloween :)

Things are going well on my end....weight is down this week after my period (113.2)...man, i was nervous...the scale kept going up instead of down...but its where it needs to be for now. Hopefully i will be around 111-112 or so by the weekend (fingers crossed)!

This weekend was a last hurrah for Angelica...we took her to the shore overnight one last time before school started...it was nice being off work yesterday...we went down to AC from Sun-Monday...Sunday we got down there, went to lunch, then we went to the pool and then went back, took showers and then drove over to Ocean City and went to the boardwalk...ate, played miniature golf and walked around. It was a great night.

Yesterday we went to breakfast and then we went to the outlets and shopped a bit....then headed home. Had to pick up the pup at my moms and then had to get some food to cook for the week....came home and cooked....i didn't get done cooking until almost 11:00! I was exhausted!

Today was legs at the gym....have to go back for more cardio after work....i really need to get some in before the gym too...i hate getting up...and now its only going to get harder because its darker in the morning now....blech! I still have no treadmill...that belt better come in the mail today! Its a week already!

I think that is all i got right now....

Happy Wednesday :)

 

Week is going along nicely....yesterday I took off from work...i finally was able to have the repair guy scheduled to come out to fix my treadmill....he gets there and guess what?  The wrong size belt was delivered to me in the mail and of course he has about 50 more in his car but none of them will fit!  So....they had to order another belt for me and then when that one comes in i have to schedule the guy to come out again!  So pissed off!!!  So i have to continue to go back to the gym AFTER work again to do cardio....this better end soon!

After that fiasco we hopped in the car and went to the beach for the afternoon....that is all i wanted to do was go and sit in the sand and play in the ocean :)  It was a beautiful day and the ocean was nice....too many jellyfish but it was all good!  I ate pretty much on plan...had breakfast (oats and egg whites and coffee) and then for lunch i had a grilled chicken breast and a salad...on the way home we stopped at WaWa and i was starving...so i got some nut mix to hold me over...not the best thing but at least i had some protein :)  I was home for dinner and i made fish and string beans and a salad....and then made protein cookies after dinner. 

Today was legs at the gym.....i really should be doing more.....i should do more lunges and stuff at the gym tonight when i go back...and then when i get home do some abs :)  We shall see how the night goes!

Monday

After about 50000 hours...i think i finally fixed my blog....yes...this is what i did all day at work...and i just fixed it again....from about 8:30 pm until 11:00 pm (now)....im cross-eyed and i have a headache....but i think it came out ok :)

i will post more tomorrow...im too tired now...LOL!

thursday :)

I think this is such a great pic of Gina :)

Anyway---its Thursday! I did back at the gym....something happened that bothered me but my hubby said its normal....i was doing dumbell rows and for my 3rd set i went up to 40lb....the left side (which is my dominant side) i did fine...on my right...it was like i couldn't even grasp it right let alone do the exercise! At first i got scared...then i thought that the glove couldn't grip it right...so i took it off....still had trouble...i went back to the left...fine...so i tried the 35lb and was able to get out 5....but it freaked me out! I never had that happen to me before. i guess that one side IS stronger than the other! So now i know i have a weakness that i have to work on more :)

Everything is going great as far as prep goes....Saturday will be 12 weeks out! I am so excited about this...i am determined to push myself harder than i have ever done before and my mind is in a good place (so far) so i am just going with it....

I got in 50 minutes last night on the treadmill...while i held on for dear life! The treadmill guy is coming on Tuesday finally...i didn't even try to schedule it for a different time or day....he said tuesday between 10-11...i said fine...so i am taking off work...hopefully he wont be long...i told adam to take off too and then we could head for the shore if its nice out...and just lay on the beach for the afternoon :)

i am dying for sushi...im trying to get hubby to go....i will get sashimi but im craving it for some reason!

So we will see if he feels like going soon....yum!

Wednesday

Hello :)

Today was chest..not my favorite to do but i worked it ;)

I had to do upper pulley flies and for some reason, whenever i do them i feel like a big gorilla man...LOL! I dont know why..i just see these guys all the time doing them and i guess i associate doing that exercise with that...call me strange???

I added some push ups and some abs and plyos in there as well. Gotta get my butt in gear...time is a tickin....

I am really excited about this though....my head is in the game and there is no going back :)

Well my central air is almost done...he has to finish up tonight but it is working and its wonderful!

Yesterday was shoulders at the gym in the morning and then after work went back and got another 35 minutes in on the treadmill.

Today i had legs...tried to push myself...i always try and go a little harder every week....

what i really need to do is get more cardio in. That is what is needed....well that and some muscle :)

I cant believe that its August 18th already! Where did the summer go?

I didn't even go on vacation! we were trying to figure out something for the last week in August but everything is so expensive...plus now i dont want to lose time for this prep...everyday matters here!

Sent my weigh in to T on Saturday...113.8...he wants me at 111 by the 24th...we shall see!

so freaking hot!

Well i sit here...in my living room....got home from the gym a little while ago...did an hour of cardio and some more back exercises (did back and biceps this morning) and now im sitting here...sweating!

Yes folks, i have been without air conditioning all summer....but it hasn't been too bad until the past two weeks.....we have been eating dinner and going upstairs in our bedroom to watch tv and be cool...because that is the only place with an air conditioner....

that is...until tomorrow.....i am now in the process of getting central air put in....I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guy told me we should be up and running by tomorrow or sunday at the latest :) Im going to be sooo happy :)

but right now....not so happy....i should be cleaning...but im hot....i put the air on in my bedroom already....i think im going to say screw cleaning and just go hang upstairs and watch tv ;)

I bought this shirt from Mike Davie's Fitness Factory site....so cute....i got a small...its a little tight but it will be fine when im a few pounds less...LOL!(Shirt says...."THINK like a champ, TRAIN like a champ, EAT like a champ, BE A CHAMP")
bye :)

Monday

Well its monday! Had a pretty decent weekend...it was one of those weekends where it felt as though it was longer for some reason?? Usually they fly by and its monday real quick...this one seemed a little longer...thank god!

Friday we had angelica...i just made dinner and we hung out....saturday...just hung out and cleaned and stuff and then we went to get something to eat with my parents and then went to Bed Bath & Beyond...because i got the new Keurig coffee machine last week and i needed the little pod carosel...LOL!

Sunday---went food shopping and then came home and cooked my food for probably half the week and then went over my moms for dinner. They are going to the shore this week so i wont see them until next week.

Diet is going good...nothing off plan except for a 1/2 teaspoon of almond butter in my oatmeal on sunday....weight went down 1/2 pound...i was hoping for more but its only been a week on this new diet so i will give it some time ;)

I am feeling pretty good...not too tired....i have had to go to the gym after work because the treadmill isn't working still....well its working but not without me holding on...so its not right....but i have to get this cardio in...cause its only going to get worse as i get further along in this prep.

Still trying to decide on a color for my suit....im thinking red??? What do you think? Either that or black :)
Other than that...nothing really exciting going on....oh yeah....there is....i had someone come out to my house the other day to price out central air....well it turns out i need both...a new heater too....but that is ok...cause it will be a lot more efficient. And yes, i have been without air conditioning all summer....we have a window unit in the bedroom so we have just been going upstairs early...which i guess is fine...but i cant have anyone over cause its so freaking hot in the house! So hopefully that will be installed this week!!!

Im off work on wednesday...we are picking up Angelica from the shore and taking her home so i will have to go to the gym in the morning like usual and then just come home and get ready.

I think that is all i got....for now...

oh today was legs...tomorrow chest....wednesday..shoulders! Cant miss shoulder day!! My favorite :)

oh and i cant forget this......anyone else in love with this show???

True Blood !! Love it!!!