I think im going to get the "worst blogger of the year" award....
to be honest, if i was full of motivation and goal setting and had that kick ass attitude, then maybe i would have been blogging more...but unfortunately that has not been the case...basically what it comes down to is that i will do well during the week....weekend comes and it all goes to shit....
now repeat that over and over since january....
now, back in January i had these big plans and be ready to try and compete again....right now i cant see that happening.....
i tried setting baby goals for myself....that didn't really work either.
I keep trying to figure out what i can do to follow my dreams...to get my head on straight....to stay focused and determined and all that good stuff....
And i think what it all comes down to is this....me wanting it and me doing it are two different things....my desire to have what i want and doing the work to get there....me feeling like a champion rather than feeling like a failure....
i can have all the desire and the dreams in my head that i want...until it is acted out...that is all it is...a dream....
I live it all out by watching everyone else accomplish their dreams...while i sit there and then feel bad that i haven't done it.
I honestly dont know what im waiting for??? I think im afraid of failing...im afraid of pushing myself mentally and physically...because we all know how much easier it is to give up than to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
I have a trainer and a team that i pay very good money for every month....you would think that maybe i would want to put all that money to good use and do what im supposed to do?
I cant needs to be removed from my mindset.....every excuse that goes through my head needs to disappear if i want to accomplish anything.....
So on that note.....
I will attempt to update more :)
