play on

I was listening to this song on my ipod the other day and i was really liking the words :)

Just wanted to share :)  Its about not giving up...even when you want to!

Play On....Carrie Underwood

What you're gonna do when the show is over
What you're gonna sing when the song ends
How you're gonna cope when there is no closure
Where you're gonna reach when the goal gets higher
How you're gonna make it through
When you think you lost the chance

Play on
When you're losing the game
Play on
'Cause you're gonna make mistakes
It's always worth to sacrifice
Even when you think you're wrong
So play on
Play on

Even when the flood gates swing wide open
Never let the currents sink you down, no
Even when you're not sure where you're going
Swimming through the mess and you can't get out
Just going through the motions, and trying not to drown

Play on
When you're losing the game
Play on
'Cause you're gonna make mistakes
It's always worth to sacrifice
Even when you think you're wrong
So play on
Play on

Even though it's the storm on the darkest night
Don't you ever give up the fight
Even when you feel you're all alone
Play on
Play on

Play on
When you're losing the game
Play on
'Cause you're gonna make mistakes
It's always worth to sacrifice
Even when you think you're wrong
So play on
Play on

its the little things

its just the little things in your daily life that can make you happy...example...my new diet has a rice cake on it for my 4:30 time slot....now normally this would be an insignificant little rice cake...but when i make my afternoon coffee and im eating my fish and squash...this little treat really makes me smile :)  (im such a dork...LOL)

I am really trying to stay strong and think like a competitor.  It is not an easy thing to do...because my normal brain tells me that its fine to want and eat  m&ms, bread, gummy bears, or just something like mashed potatoes.

What i have failed to realize is that i am this little 5 foot nothing 37 year old who wants to accomplish something that is pretty difficult...especially when i have been such a crappy eater for so long.  5lbs on me is huge...so is 15lbs....and i need to realize that this weight came back so fast...and it took me so long to get it off....so instead of having a good foundation to start with, im starting over yet again.  which is frustrating,  but its done and nothing can be done about it now....except to move forward...to a place where i am happy with myself again.

You would think that seeing changes in myself would that in of itself make me giddy and not even want to touch a morsel of something off plan.  but i guess as being human and all, everyone is going to feel that way, right?  But its true...i love seeing my body change, getting stronger, feeling better, even though im exhausted from it all.

I have to believe in myself.  I know i can do this...food will not win ;)

I am looking into getting a new suit....im thinking red :)

gross

Just wanted to post this....

i was on the train this morning ....there was this girl sitting across from me eating vienna sausages out of the can...

i almost threw up....

just wanted to share ;)

slacker

I have been a blogging slacker :)  Sorry.....

I dont even know what is going on in my life...lets see...had to send pics to Mike on Sunday....big wake up call....he changed up my diet (which i started yesterday) and so far so good....im hungry constantly though...i am trying to keep everything in check...i have 19 weeks to go.  It seems like its so far away, but really its not at all.  My cardio isn't too bad right now which is good.   Im getting over a little illness..its like a cold/flu thing...started on friday..with my ear hurting,..and i got scared cause it was a long weekend and i didn't want to be without anything...so the doctor called in an antibiotic and ear drops for me...im feeling ok but just drained.  Just overtired i think.  My leg workout that i did on monday is still hurting me!  I went really heavy on everything and im still feeling it!  This guy was watching me on the leg press...he said "your pretty strong for a little thing"....LOL!!!!

Went out with friends for dinner on sunday for valentines day.  That was nice...we actually went out early....we had 4:30 reservations...everyone was laughing because it  was like we were old peeps going out so early....but we went to Adam's friend's sisters house afterwards and hung out there for a bit...it was a nice night.  That was my last cheat meal...probably for a while....

I guess that is all i have right now....when i can sit down and write a normal post that has some thought and meaning to it, i will :)


16 days till I leave for the Arnold!!!!  WOOO HOOO!!!

snow!

Just a quick update...this is my street..hubby took the pic from the corner...i think we got about 20 inches or so...not sure...but another storm is on its way and it is supposed to drop another 10 inches or so...god this sucks!!!

June cant get here quick enough....here is one more...

that is our car....buried under the snow :)  He dug it out but the street is still full so he cant drive it...and even if he could, when he got home, there would be no where to put it...

ok...i will update me tomorrow :)

Tuesday but feels like monday :)

Well its Tuesday...but since i was off work yesterday, it feels like a Monday!  Yesterday was me and hubby's two year wedding anniversary!  Yep..two years already!  Time just flies doesn't it?  

We went overnight to AC...got a room at the Tropicana (which we were upgraded to a suite) and had a wonderful time :)  Eating wasn't great...but i knew it wasn't going to be...im not going to get worried about it because its done and over with.  Time to get back to business ;)

Did 30 min EMC this morning and then hit the legs hard at the gym...it was a really long workout too for some reason....but i got through it all...well almost all of it....i had to do 100 jump lunges at the end of the torture...i got 40 in...which means i will have to finish them tonight when i get home :)

Other than that...nothing exciting really happening.  Im going to my sister's tonight for dinner (im bringing mine) just to hang out and see my nephew.    God forbid, i dont see my family at least once a week!  LOL!    Which brings up something that really gets to me.  My sister's birthday is sunday.  She calls me last night and asks me to go to dinner on saturday night....there are a bunch of couples going....all her friends...and she asked me and adam to go...but this is the way she asks me :  "well i dont even know why im inviting you because i know your not going to go but im not rude like you and i invite you to things, but we are going to dinner for my birthday on saturday if you want to come."  and then adds "and i know adam just loves being around a bunch of people too", so im sure you will go (being sarcastic)....and me, the non confortational person that i am, doesn't say a word.....if she can be a bitch, why cant I?   

So then she texts me this morning and asks me if we are going....i told her "i dont think so, we dont have the money and honestly, they are your friends, and i just wouldn't feel comfortable.  And it has nothing to do with Adam.  (because she will automatically think that its Adam who doesn't want to go)....i shouldn't care anymore...but i do.    I feel like im the younger sibling and she is the older one.  Its just so many things with all of them...Adam doesn't come around all the time because he is busy...he works all day, then goes to the gym, and on tuesdays (which is when i see my family usually) he takes Angelica to Karate so he doesn't get home until 8:30 or so....so he hasn't seen anyone in probably close to a month...but they automatically think that he doesn't want to be around them and that he doesn't like them..but in actuality, he knows that they say stuff about him all the time and doesn't want to be around it.  So, its a crazy situation and i hate being in the middle of it...its annoying! 

Anyway....I think that is all i got.....im tired now....LOL!