Teens....here i come!

Thanks everyone for the kind words yesterday. It meant a lot. Never in a million years would i have thought that i would be able to put up pictures of myself out for all to see. Guess im getting ballsy in mhy old age..hehe...Today was cardio and abs. All i keep in my mind when i do abs is Amy's pictures that she took....Amy, i want your stomach!!!!! I may go back after work and do some more cardio. Partly because i had to cut my finishing cardio in half because i was running a little late.

Also for the next three days, im doing higher fat(good fat), no carbs! So basically im eating every 1.5-2 hours and only fish and eggs. This should be fun....not....

Im trying to figure out a timetable to get all these meals in...,it looks like:

M1: 9:00: egg whites

M2: 10:30: tuna

M3: 12:00: whey shake

M4: 1:00 tilapia

M5: 2:30 tuna

M6: 4:00 tilapia

M7: 6:30 salmon

M8: 8:00 shake

Im going to either be full, or Im going to throw up! Not sure yet.....

Tony said i should be in my teens by sunday......how wonderful would that be?????

I haven't seen my teens in a looooong time!

do not be afraid

I cant believe that im even posting these pictures but
I wanted to show the difference between week 1
(February 21) to week 5 (3/27/07).

I think its a pretty noticible difference..dont ya?

Please dont be too grossed out :)

On a positive note....imagine what i will look like
at week 10!

they need to close the office

I dont want to be in work right now!!!! I went for a walk at lunch and it is sooo nice out! I dont want to be here! I should be out enjoying the lovely sunshine! I think they should let us all go home early....yeah right!

I still have negative body image issues....i try to think positive and all and i try to stop myself from being negative.....example.....it is like almost 80 degrees today.....and i was too self conscious not to wear my coat outside cause im afraid i look fat.....that people were going to be looking at me and all my fatness!

I have been drinking so much water...i feel like im going to float away...i literally have to go to the bathroom every 25-30 minutes!

Today was shoulders....i couldn't do the cable raises....they are too hard for me yet...so i substitute them with side dumbell raises....(dont tell on me ;)

Maybe one day, when im big and strong, i will be able to do them.....

oh and one more complaint......i hate the olympic bar.....the damn thing is 45 pounds on its own! how the frig am i supposed to do squats or lunges on the damn thing when i cant even lift it! I have to do them on the smith machine...which i love!! I hope substituing doesn't affect anything....cause believe me they still hurt....

On the marriage front......everything is still going forward....we are going saturday for rings.....

I know i shouldn't have

I weighed myself this morning....my weigh in was saturday, and my weight was the same as last week. But i weighed myself this morning for some reason...and i was down a pound.....so now when i have my "real" weigh in, im going to have that one pound difference in my head already. I know weight fluctuates constantly but i have to put it in my head that when i weigh in the next time, i have to go by the original weigh in weight....i hate when i do this to myself! Now when i weigh in i better have at least have lost that one pound :)

BEKA

I just wanted to give a shout out to Beka for completing her first competition! Girl, you looked incredible.....all of your hard work and dedication paid off! You are #1 in my eyes! Congratulations!

weigh in

Well i weighed in this morning...my weight was the same.....122...oh well......at least i didn't gain :)

gross!

I started taking fish oil capsules this morning.....i keep burping....and it tastes like salmon.....

My April 28th Goal

I weighed myself again this morning...i know i wasn't supposed to but i felt lighter. And i was...well only a half a pound, but it was the half that should have been off on saturday! I weighed in at 122. My goal for next weigh in is 120....119 would be spectacular, but not probable.

Im in such a good mood today. The sun is shining, its the first day of spring....i dont want to be in work, i can tell ya that.....well i do get to leave early today, but not for a good reason...i have a dentist appointment at 4:00...blech! But my tooth broke and i need a crown.....and i have no dental insurance! I do have a discounted plan that i have myself, but it is still going to cost me about $500.00-600.00! Which i really dont feel like putting out right now! But i guess i cant be taking wedding pictures with a broken tooth....lol....that would not be a pretty sight! See and that is another reason to get married! He has dental insurance....LOL!!!!!!

We may be going to look for rings tomorrow. He has a friend of his that has a store and they are open until 7 so i asked him if we can go. He said there is no rush, but i told him it is because my mom wants to tell people! Also, Angelica's communion is on April 28th, and all of his ex's family will be there, so i want the ring on my finger AND WEIGH about 10 POUNDS LESS!!!!!!!!!

With a new outfit!!!!

That is my end of April goal :) 112-115 pounds...think i can do it?????

My "No Carb" day, Weigh In & Marriage

I had my first no carb day yesterday. It actually wasn't so bad. I was kinda hungry though. But i weighed in this morning....down another 1.5 pounds. So total to date with Tony....7.5 pounds! My weight is down to 122.5. I sooo cannot wait to get back into the teens again! Im very excited.

The only thing that sucked was that because of the snow, i was unable to get to the gym this morning. But it was only abs and cardio. I did my abs at home. I missed cardio.(don't tell on me...lol) !!

Hopefully I will be able to get there tomorrow to make it up!

Im soo ready for spring!

I'm not sure if it was known or not, but me and adam aren't married. We have been together for 5 years and we live together. Well after the whole hospital and surgery incident, i sat down with him and explained to him that we really should be married. It really bothered me when we were at the hospital and i was labeled "friend" on the forms. I should be "wife". Im going to be 35 years old and he is 36. There is no reason that we shouldn't just do it. So we were discussing it and trying to figure out a way to do it. I had suggested just going away...Bahamas or something, but he wants his daughter there and he doesn't want to put her on a plane, so we would have to do it here. Just small, cause we have no money. I know my parents would pay for the majority of it and then we could do the rest.

I know its not really romantic, because he didn't ask me to "marry him" on his knee, so we didn't get "engaged" formally, but we are going to go and pick out rings and just plan something small. So, he told me to run it by my parents and see how they felt about us doing it this way....and my mom was just so happy that we were finally doing it, that she doesn't care how we do it.

So, the thing is, i want to be happy about it, but i don't want to get my hopes all up and then him change his mind. He told me to find a place, and do everything with my mom and my sister and
try to involve him as little as possible. The reason is that he is kinda "anti-marriage" and he is only doing this for me. He is totally fine with living together for the rest of our lives. And to be honest, part of me feels the same way. Like the saying goes "if it ain't broke, dont fix it" but the whole hospital thing freaked me out and i felt like god forbid, if something more serious was wrong, i have absolutely no say in his care. And the same goes for me on his end. We should be married, it is the way i was raised and it is the right thing to do.

So, now i have to plan a wedding! Im kinda freaked out. We are looking into getting married in February (our 6 year anniversary falls on a friday next year), plus its cheaper on a friday and especially because it's february! I guess the first thing is to find a place, then a dress...and all the other crap that goes with it.

Im sooo not a girl that way....some girls plan and think about their wedding from when they are little girls...honestly, i never think about it, and i still can't comprehend that we are actually going to do it!

My mom wants to tell people but i told her to wait until i get a ring. I dont want to look stupid.

I guess i have a lot of work to do huh?

Back to the grind

I'm back to work....it is so nice being off work and not being out because your sick. Having two days off was wonderful, but now its back to reality. I was able to get my workouts in on monday and tuesday since i was home. The gym was actually crowded at 1:00 in the afternoon! Don't people work??? Even driving was a pain in the ass! Go to work people!

Anyway, today was chest. Yesterday was legs. I love working my legs the most i think. Maybe because they are the strongest part of my body :) Tomorrow is back and triceps. I actually like working my back too.

I got up this morning at 6 and it was sooo dark out.....i really dont like walking to the subway in the dark....its kinda creepy. Adam usually drops me off in front of the steps but since he is out of work, i had to walk.

I talked with Tony about my weekend and how i wasn't able to make my saturday workout and my meals weren't exactly great. So my weigh in isn't until Saturday and he wants me to do a "no carb" day.....that should be interesting! So I will do the no carb thing on friday. Hopefully it will help with the scale on saturday :)

my exciting weekend

Well, not really. It was actually spent in the hospital. No, not for me, but for Adam. Friday night after dinner he was having pains in his stomach, which he thought was gas or food poisioning. I knew it wasnt the food cause i ate the same thing. Well at about 11:00 he said he was going to go to bed. A little while later he started shaking really bad, like he was getting sick but the shakes were much worse. So i said, we are going to the ER. After a few hours in the waiting area, they took him back to a room, and the doctor checked him and said they wanted to do a CAT scan because it sounded like his appendix. CAT scan came back that it was his appendix and that he was going to have to be operated on immediately. So after 10 hours in the ER, they take him up to the Operating Room for an emergency appendectomy. Mind you, i haven't slept at all minus a half hour here and there, scrunched on a chair. I was exausted! Anyway, the surgery went well and he was in the hospital until sunday. I look off work today and tomorrow to help him out. I did make it to the gym today, but saturday, of course, i missed. My eating was a little bit off too due to the circumstances, but i did ok.

Im just glad that he is ok and that everything went well.

happy friday

Well i weighed in this morning.....eyes closed...afraid to open them.....waiting to see that my weight stayed the same, or even went up......low and behold......DOWN 2 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEE! What a happy friday ......cant wait to call Tony to tell him.....i guess when they say that if you eat right and exercise...you lose weight.....who would have thunk it...lol...

maybe one day i will have the balls to put before/during/after pics up.....for now they are safe in my hard drive....

I'm trying to come up with ideas of how to make my chicken....im going to start clucking soon.... I made a yummy one last night that i would like to share. Its a modified verison of chicken marsala. Basically all i did was wet the chicken, coat it in wheat flour, and in a pan on top of the stove i added the marsala wine, and cooked the chicken each side in the marsala, about 3-4 minutes (depending on the thickness). It came really moist. The marsala wine is not fattening at all. Its like 45 calories for 2 tbsp. and no fat. Sodium is low on it too (not sure). The regular version you are supposed to coat the chicken in flour, cook it in olive oil, garlic and mushrooms then after the chicken is done, remove the chicken, add the marsala wine in with the "gravy" that is made from the chicken and olive oil and then transfer it to a baking dish and cook it....but this is much healthier and a lot faster.

Tomorrow is my weigh in....i dont think i lost anything this week...i still feel bulky :( I guess we shall see......

Ms. Bulky

I feel bulky today for some reason. I didn't eat anything different. I dont feel bloated, just bigger for some reason. I emailed Tony and asked him if i was still weighing in tomorrow (cause i weighed in last wednesday) and that i felt bulky. He told me not to worry and that i was doing everything right. But he told me not to weigh in now until Friday!! I might be better off waiting but im anxious to do weigh in tomorrow.

I had shoulders/biceps today and my arms are dead. i can hardly lift them....let alone type.. all. day. long.

I am going to go back after work for a little more cardio....love the new sneakers...they make such a difference...but i still get calf pain in my one leg. i guess its really tight and it hurts, but once i get going it feels a little better. I need to really stretch. I have a few yoga and pilates dvds...if i have the engergy later, maybe i will throw it in.

We are supposed to get more friggin snow tomorrow!! 2-4 inches....not a lot, but its enough to aggrevate me. WHERE IS SPRING!!! At least its not dark out when i leave for the gym in the morning anymore :)

getting there

Morning workouts rock! You have no idea how much i love getting up in the morning and going to the gym.....never in a million years would i have ever thought i would be saying those words(lol) but seriously, being able to walk in there and being able to get on any machine that i need without waiting is such a pleasure! It actuallly makes me happy...which is crazy. Anywho, had a great leg workout this morning. But whenever im done, i always feel like i could have done more or gone heavier. When im doing the exercise im pushing myself and it feels like i cant go any heavier, but after all is done and im showered and dressed, i think to myself, I could have gone heavier.....well there is next time i guess .

I went down to AC for the day on saturday after the gym. Angelica has never been there and it was so nice out so we took a ride down. We walked around and the boardwalk was packed! I guess everyone had the same idea. i was trying to stay on schedule with my eating and i knew that i would be out so i took a protien bar with me and ate that around 4 but then dinner was comming up. Adam has been really trying to help me and we were trying to figure out where we could eat dinner. Well we went to one place in Margate, NJ (which is right outside of AC) and we went in there and sat down and there was not one thing on that menu that i could have eaten. So Adam asked if i wanted to go and i said yeah, but we had already were seated and got drinks. So i used the great excuse that my daughter was sick and we had to go! So finally we found a little italian place that i was able to get grilled chicken and veggies. So i was a good girl. Oh the best was the bread basket that they put out. I was going to die. there was little garlic bread twisty things in there, they looked SOOOO GOOD! but i stayed strong and moved it away from me.

Oh and then yesterday, i had that brunch with my sister and my cousins. It was really nice. I had an egg white omlette with shrimp and a little bit of cheese. I forgot to tell them not to put the potatos on the plate, but i didnt eat any of them. So im starting to get this eating thing under control finally.

I feel so much better when i eat clean. and ya know what the best part is? Putting on something to wear to go out and its loose and you dont feel like a big fat uncomfortable sausage in your clothes....I was half dressed, i had on my pants and a tank top(i didnt put on my sweater yet) doing my hair and adam came up and i showed him how my pants were loose and how i usually have to keep the tank top out over my pants, but i was able to tuck it in...i was all smiley...and he knows what a bitch i am when i have to go out somewhere cause nothing fits and i get in a bad mood...so he says laughing "dont think your all cool now cause your pants fit" i said im not cool, just happy :) And I am.....

I will show them all

I feel so good right now. I look forward to getting my workout email every day excited about what i get to do tomorrow. That has never happened before. And the eating thing...yes its boring and repetitive, but i know that everything that i am eating is good, healthy and is burning fat! That is the most important thing! The ACV/LJ and the green tea, go down easy...its part of my day....cooking my breakfast at night and packing everything for the gym so im ready to go at 6:30. Don't get me wrong, i don't want to get up at 6 (which is late for some people) but i feel soooo much better when im done and im glad that i got up!

I went to the tanning salon last night...i know they are bad and all, but im soo white and color just looks so much better and healthier doesn't it? And it makes me feel better so im doing it. So there! LOL....

I bought new sneakers from Zappos and they came in the mail today. They are Saucony. I never bought that brand before, but the girl i work with loves them, so im giving them a try. They fit, so thats a plus...i just hope they dont hurt when im running.

I am going to brunch on sunday with my sister and my two cousins. It sucks cause i won't be able to really eat anything except egg whites and oatmeal, which in turn will cost me $30.00, but it will be a nice day. So i can sit there while they eat thier bagels, muffins, mimosas, etc., and i will be the good girl who will get comments made out loud by my sister who just continually tells me that "I can't live this way and I will never be able to keep this up".....keep stuffin your face....how much have you gained since your wedding??(that is what i feel like sayin....but the wuss ball that i am doesn't say a word)....

Like last night, i stopped at my mom and dad's after dinner for coffee because my sister was there....

Michelle: "are you allowed to drink coffee?"

Me: "yeah smartass"

See? This is what i get..

And as we all drank our coffee....they all had a "snack" with their coffee.....apparently, Hostess came out with these mini packs of three baby cupcakes which are 100 calories and every chemical in gods universe in there and they gobbled them right up. Keep eatin.....and i will keep losing.....I will show them all........