Wow...its been over a week since i have posted....i am really bad at this! LOL!
I just have so much going on and then i wind up spending so much time reading other stuff i never get a chance to write myself.
So lets see....4.5 weeks out....so not ready......I have decided to just accept my fate and be the fat mess who shouldn't be up there...and just go for the hang out session with April.
Im trying not to get too stressed out about it...but time is going by way to fast.
Don't get me wrong....my clothes are huge, my boobs are shrinking....even my ass is going down some...but its still not "stage" ready. Last year i did the show and i really didn't care either...it was more of a hang out thing too....
Don't get me wrong....my clothes are huge, my boobs are shrinking....even my ass is going down some...but its still not "stage" ready. Last year i did the show and i really didn't care either...it was more of a hang out thing too....
Which really brings me to this....i need to get my head on straight.....see the thing is, i dont really look at it as "competing"...i look at it as setting a goal for myself and going through with that goal.. I have never been a competitive person....i dont care if i win, or if i loose.....dont get me wrong...i want one of those figure girl trophies....but im not going to cry and get upset over it when i dont get one......i would probably just get down on myself more for not pushing myself harder, etc.
But that drive....to win....i really dont have that....and im not sure if that is a good or bad thing??? I guess its good....
there are girls that do these shows just to get into magazines and to do photo shoots and be a spokesperson or whatever.....i have absolutely no desire whatsoever to do that...im too shy and im not comfortable doing those types of things.....i just want to be the best me that i can....i want the muscle, the tiny waist....i loved the excitement and nervousness of being on stage....that made me happy...i love training and the commitment...i love the sport...and doing my first show last year and being able to do that show with 3 friends with all their support all the way through.....that made it all the better :)
I just want to get to the point where i can just keep improving......to get rid of the fat on me....to be lean, have some muscle, and to be able to maybe compete, and feel confident and be happy with myself. Right now, i dont have that.
I have some goals....i want to be able to continue to compete and maybe make it to the top 5....im not going to go nuts if i dont....but if i really want to go forward with these goals ...i would love to make it to a national stage! Just to get there...that would be amazing!! Because all those girls are amazing......and to be able to get my body to that level would be the greatest gift of all.
7 comments:
Hey Angela, gosh we are in the same boat with the lack of time thing! Must be comp season worldwide lol.
I personally think that your frame of mind is fantastic. Not EVERYONE has to have the motivation of winning in order to compete - I think it's great that it's more about setting and achieving personal goals for you! Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to win/place but it just doesn't have to be everyone's personal motivating factor if that makes sense - I think you have a very health attitude to the sport!!
Vicki
PS - I am sure you are being very hard on yourself and that you actually look fantastic!!
Angela just wanted to say I love this post and everything you wrote!!
Wow, reading this made me realize that we are a lot alike. I could have written almost all of these words.
The thing you have to realise is, it's your life, it's your choice, but only YOU can make that choice.
Only YOU can decide what you really want from this, because you have to do it in a way that makes you happy.
Tak care and best wishes.
:-) :-).
Matt
Screw the competition, you know you're just excited to see me ;) I feel the same way!!!!
I say.. if you're going to put in the time and effort. What is wrong with winning???
Ask yourself why not you? Why not?
Don't count the days, make the days count. ~Ali
The only thing those girls have is the belief that they can do it. That is all.
My experience has been that it's the one's who don't NEED to win who end up winning.
They work for it, they train for it, they diet for it... and they don't stop there. They behave like champs and they believe like champs.
If they don't win... they lose like champs.
But they give it their all. They give it everything. They don't hold themselves back. Not whatsoever.
You can do that too Angela.. you're no different. You just need to realize that. There's nothing that says you have to get in magazines or do photoshoots.
This is a competition. People pay to come see you, so go ahead and give them a show.
We all feel like you do at one point or another.. (ask me about my two day melt down at 7 weeks out sometime)
Don't slow down.. don't resign to just being happy to be there. Don't underestimate the power you have.
Fear and doubt have no place in the life of a figure competitor. None.
I am cheering for you Angela,
~C.
Well, I for one thing you should compete too. That is if you're wanting to do it for yourself. That's the main thing. Don't do stuff like this to please other people and don't feel obligated to continue through with the show just because people have heard you talk about it for weeks. Screw others! I think you gotta just do it if you'll have fun doing it!
I'm worrying about my shinsplints again. Didn't think they were going to be an issue after Seattle because when I got home they were fine...More in email--check email! Don't want to write a book on here.
:D
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