"To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will"
I have been doing some thinking....I don't believe in myself. Having such bad self esteem for so long has really hurt me. I think that in the back of my head I don't believe that I deserve to look the way I want to.
Adam believes that a lot of my issues has to do with my family and the way they make me feel guilty all the time. That may have something to do with it. But i am so hard on myself all of the time.
I need to believe wholeheartedly that i can do what needs to be done. I have done it twice already...I can do it again. But I want to do it differently. I don't want to gain again like i did the past two times. I want to kick myself repeatedly for being so stupid. I would be so far ahead of the game if i didn't eat the way i did through November and December.
Im not going to get into all the boo hoo'ing and woe is me crap.. I did it, its done...i have to move on. I need to believe in me...and what i can do. I can get to where i need to be....if i believe....im trying....
8 comments:
Honestly Angela... I believe that is your problem 100%. You have a difficult time BELIEVING in yourself! You put yourself down too much and I read all this negative self talk coming out of you. Its terrible cause you are such a wonderful, beautiful person. Other people (me included) believe in you and KNOW that you can do it....you just need to believe in yourself!
XOXOXO
=)
Couldn't agree more. You are someone with a great Heart and a really fantastic personality, but until you start to be to yourself, the complete person you are to others, you'll only be short changing yourself, emotionally and mantally.
You DO have the abilty to be what you need to be for others and yourself, because you have enough inner self to go round.
It is just a self belief thing, but it IS possible, so GOOD LUCK and don't worry okay.
:-) :-).
Matt
Well nobody can "make" you feel guilty. You have complete control and responsibilty over how you choose to feel.
Ask yourself why you are choosing to feel guilty. How does it serve you? If it doesn't serve you.. then no need to continue.
Self-esteem is just that.. how you feel about yourself. So it doesn't do really any good for me to tell you what everyone else already said.
You don't get self-esteem from pats on the back, and kudos although they are always nice.
You get it from you. It is something you have control over. It is simply a choice that only you can make.
~C.
I'm not sure if that's the case. Saying fancy phrases like, "You must believe in yourself" is really nice for blogs and books but in all honesty... I think we all know exactly what we're doing when we do it. We are aware. It's just that we're not realistic about our goals sometimes.
For instance, one off season of mine I gained like 30 lbs. It was awful. But the reason I done it was because I thought, 'okay, the diet is over I'm going to eat whatever I want and sure...I'll be able to lose it just by basically starving myself off carbs and doing way too much cardio.'
My mind was thinking unrealistically like that because I WANTED to give myself an excuse to eating a bunch of crap and not having to stop until the last minute.
Being lean for a show is something you've got to be aware of the entire year. For example. If you mow your lawn once per week, it'll stay nice and trim. However, if you mow your lawn once a month or once every two months, it'll be hard as hell to mow it because your mower typically does not want to cut tall grass efficiently...so it'll be a mess by the time it's mowed down entirely.
What I'm saying here is, you've just got to think REALISTICALLY. I'll admit, I wasn't at all. I was ridiculous with my thinking. It was absurd!
I think the only issue you're having is LETTING yourself think unrealistically in order to feel better about doing things you know that you shouldn't...which in our cases would be eating badly all the time.
I'll be honest with you, you can eat cheats once per week. I do...and I did more than that during the holidays...BUT...I didn't let myself over do it because I know what'll happen if I do (There is the realistic thinking that I need). So basically, you've got to keep a realistic mindset to WHATEVER you do.
And when I say realistic thinking, I mean it always...not just during the off season.
Some people are crazy during contest prep too. You know during contest prep, you could technically eat a candy bar each week and you would not gain a pound from that. Seriously.
MY thought on that is, if you're at the point to where you can't eat one cheat/carb meal per week during contest prep then you're not going to be ready for your show anyway.
I have really learned a lot during my year off from competing. Glad I took it.
Being lean for a show is just "up keep." Stay leaner year-round and then that way when you DO lean out, you wont have such a hard time.
A girl should not subject herself to leaning out hardcore at the last minute. THAT is why leaning out is so damned hard. I think staying within 10lbs of your show weight is ideal.
It's not hard to do either. I had nice treats during the holidays but I also walk tons and I workout regularly. Not tons of working out either. Basically, you've just got to be aware of what you're doing, think realistically, and don't LET yourself give in to unrealistic dream-thinking (as I call it).
There should be none of this, "I do not deserve the body of my dreams" or "I do not believe in myself."
That has nothing to do with it. You're an adult and you're very aware of your surroundings and what is going on in your life.
Think about it a little more and I promise you--your mind is just trying to make you think of ways to give in to unrealistic goals.
I think you'll do just fine. just stay within 10 lbs of your show weight all year. If you go above that a bit, then simmer down on the cheats until you're back into control. You'll have a much more realistic mindset about monitoring and maintaining your weight. Trust me. That's what I've done all year and it's worked REALLY well. I mean REALLY well. Almost effortless.
I think you're awesome, and I think you will do so wonderful at your next contest. You've just got to start being more realistic with your thoughts and you wont kick yourself ever again. :o)
I totally agree with Visionquester. WOW, screw Dr. Phil. She needs her own show!
Hey hun! I am just now catching up on over a weeks worth of blogs in my google reader but thought it was worthy to come out of google reader to post a comment! YOU ARE FAB. You are going to do it again and you are going to do it better than ever. I believe in you!!
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
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