It has been so long since i have posted...im such a bad blogger ;)
A short and sweet update is in order...
Thanksgiving was great. Ate too much, of course.
Saturday after thanksgiving was adam's 40th birthday....and for his birthday we went to Cancun :) It was a glorious week long vacation filled with guacamole and pina coladas :) I probably gained 10 pounds...which i know is mostly fluff from eating and drinking crap and its slowly going away. I did make it to the gym 3 days out of the 7 but it probably didn't matter due to all the food....all inclusives are good and bad...good that you dont have to worry about having all the extra money to spend on food and drinks but bad because some of the choices you make you wouldn't necessarily make if you were paying for it. We had a wonderful week and had only one day of bad weather (which wasn't really bad...just cloudy and windy).
We spent the week there and on Sunday i had dinner for him and my family came over to help celebrate :)
So now its back to reality and back to the gym and packing my food. I feel better now that im back on track :)
But with the holidays coming im going to have to really keep an eye on my food intake.
It felt really good to get into the gym yesterday. I did legs. today i did shoulders.
Now here is my issue for today. I always seem to compare myself to others...case in point....there is this girl at my gym..i see her every so often. She is very lean and i know she works hard..but before seeing her i was feeling good doing my shoulder workout....then standing next to her and seeing how nice her arms are and her legs, etc...i wanted to kill myself (not literally of course) but i get so mad at myself....why cant i look like that? I work hard, i eat fairly well (well not this past week) but you know what i mean. I think sometimes that i will never look like that...i hate thinking like that, but i feel like i will never look the way i want to.
I have had this blog for how long now? 3 years? and i still have the same issues...yes i got down to 102 pounds, and yes i competed twice...but i am still a mess...and why? because instead of continuing to build on the foundation that i had, i ate.
I dont want to go on this woe is me bullcrap but i need to just basically shit or get off the pot...as the saying goes.
I need to realize that i cant have it both ways...i cant eat what i want and then expect to look good. Why is it so hard for me to comprehend ? I still want to eat things i shouldn't and still want to have a lean physique.,.it doesn't work that way...i know that.....yet i still do wrong?? Its such a viscious horrible circle that i have been dealing with for years and years. I dont know what i think im missing...i know what chocolate cake tastes like, i know what chocolate tastes like....and its all mind over matter....i know all this....
i need to stop talking now.....cause im just rambling ;)
4 comments:
I can relate to what you are saying. I justify it by allowing myself a little room for failure and realizing that I am human and part of the human experience is to learn from mistakes. Uggh....food. A battle for sure & I wish I could have it both ways...eat fun and stay lean. I have worked hard to get a little leaner and I have a long ways to go so I try to not UNDO my progress. It's been blood, sweat and tears for me. I completely understand....are you in my head? LOL! I struggle too.
Hope the next few weeks are really fun and go by quickly so that fudge and those darn cookies or gravies don't tempt you toooo much. HUGS!
You just have to keep doing the best you can.
Take care and best wishes.
:-) :-).
Matt
We all struggle with food...damn it for being so tasty!!! Don't beat yourself up! Your vacay sounded like it was a lot of fun - too bad we can't always be on vacation - lol!!!
T.
Angela,
I REALLY think you need to take time away from competing again until you're able to avoid the "eating whatever you want" syndrome. I did that same thing. You eventually realize that you CAN'T have what you want all of the time. Once in a while, sure. But definitely not all the time. That's a sucky thing to admit, but once you admit that to yourself you'll do great.
Don't over do it in the gym. it's pointless. Trust me. Two hours of cardio is really not going to make you lose weight efficiently for a show either. I swear to you, I have tried everything and it will not do the job. All that does is makes you extremely tired, frustrated, bored, and HUNGRY. What you need to do, is get to the point where you only gain 5 or 10 lbs in the off season. This is TOTALLY do-able. I do it and it's not at all that difficult. I'm not really doing much in the gym either. I work out about 40 minutes a day for four or five days a week and that's enough. I walk around town quite often but it's not something I consider extreme cardio.
I recognize what you're going through when I read your blog. You probably wont take my advice but I promise you if you take time off from the ideas of competing and realize that it's more fun to stay lean year-round than to try to lean out just for a show date. Wouldn't you rather be fit all of the time? Then, you can decide to compete when you feel like you're ready. It's a bad thing to set yourself up for failures. I'm not saying that you'd fail, but gaining 30 lbs in an off season then trying to lose 20 lbs in 10 weeks is really an unrealistic goal. Especially when you know how your body will respond. You said it yourself that you've had this blog three years and there is no difference. That's just because you're making this same mistake. Setting yourself up with an unreal goal. I DID THE SAME THING. Your body will look LOADS better if you stay fit for an entire year.
I have no competed since 2008. Why? It's only because I know that I'm not ready. I do think I could be ready in 2010 because I've stayed within 10 lbs of my show weight for over a year now without a whole lot of effort.
You don't need expensive trainers or diet coaches to do this either. I don't, and trust me I am no expert. That's obvious. It's just that I have learned to pick the REAL choice versus the fantasy choice.
Post a Comment