Countdown to 40

I have been wanting to blog for god knows how long now.  So many things have been going on and I wanted to blog, just for the fact that I want to have some sort of rememberance of when things happened and I can look back on them for future reference.

The past month or so has been a blur.  I have been going in 500 directions constantly but yet feel as though I have got nothing accomplished.

I am turning the big 4-0 on Thursday!  I have no idea how that happened but it is…I don’t feel 40, nor do I think I look it.  It is a scary number, but thankfully I’m not really one of those people that it bothers.  I could care less…it is really just a number…nothing will change one way or the other…but we are actually doing something fun…me and Adam are going to NYC overnight :)  We are staying at the Radisson and he got me tickets to Harvey on Broadway!  (Jim Parsons from Big Bang is playing he lead…I love Sheldon ;)..LOL) …I hear that you can wait either before hand or after to see if you can meet the cast…that would be so cool!!  On Friday, I got tickets to do the NBC studio tour.  I haven’t been to New York in a looong time!  Probably close 20 years. Actually I remember the last time I was there…it was when Princess Diana was killed…..when was that??  (I just looked it up…august 1997…so that is 15 years)..So it’s been a while…so I’m excited :) 

On Saturday, I am going to dinner with my family for my birthday…I didn’t want any party or anything….my mom was asking me what I wanted….I told her I had no idea….Carrie Underwood is coming in concert in November…I told her I want to get tickets for that…so, me, my mom and my sister are going to go :)

Adam surprised me with a Kindle Fire on Friday for my birthday too :)  I love it!!  I just feel bad because I have the other kindle now that I don’t know what to do with….it’s perfectly good….but the fire is more fun :)

What else is going on???  Hmmm…

We finally got the bathroom redone.  They finished that up last week.  We had some setbacks with it.  Remodeling is a pain in the ass.  Seriously.  Between going back to Lowe’s a zillion times, them selling something we paid for and they forgot to put aside for us.  Scheduling the plumber, then having an issue with the pipes.  Then having to have it painted after all the construction…then after all  was said and done, taking a shower and then seeing water coming out from underneath the shower doors….and now it has to be resealed…which meant that we couldn’t take showers AGAIN because it had to be dry…so needless to say, it has been an adventure…..and it still has to be cleaned…because there is dust and whatever else in there….I haven’t had a chance to go the “good cleaning” and put everything back yet.  Don’t get me wrong…it looks really good!  And I’m glad we did it…but it’s a pain in the ass to make sure everything gets done when it’s supposed to….I’m afraid to even get started on doing the kitchen!

On top of all that, me and my mom have been planning a baby “sprinkle” for my sister who is pregnant and due in August….yes I’m going to be an aunt again :)   So we had that on Saturday!  It turned out really nice….she loved everything!  Thank goodness!

What else??  Oh yeah….why I started this blog….working out ;)

My workout s have been pretty good.  Cardio needs to be better and my eating seriously needs work.  I am having serious food issues….actually I have always had food issues.   Being good with your diet is the most important thing if you are trying to accomplish a goal…whether it is just to lose 10 pounds for vacation or to lose 30 to compete.  Your head has to be completely on straight to be able to get through it.  And that my dear friends is where I fall short.    And I find it amusing (in my own head, of course) that throughout the course of my day (week, month), all that I do is basically read and think about is competing.  To be able to get back to where I was last year and be better than I was and try and get my ass on stage again.  That, I think is the worst part….because if that is all that I think about, read about, etc., it should be a no-brainer that I fulfill what I want to do, right?  But then I go and eat something I shouldn’t and then it all goes downhill.    

I find that everything I have to do, I think about what am I going to do about eating?  Or what can I eat?  It just seems that everything social revolves around food…which really sucks…how do people stay on schedule all the time?  There is so much going on all the time and my meals get screwed up.  Yes I know I cannot eat like everyone else if I want to accomplish something that most cant, but sometimes I want to be like everyone else.  It’s a vicious circle….and then I look back over the past months/year, etc., and I have not accomplished anything that I wanted to….and it is all due to the lack of willpower when it comes to food.  How could I want to do something so bad and then not do what it takes to get it?  That is the question!  I need to get over the whole “I’m missing out” mentality and just do what I need to do.  I know I’m never going to get what I want unless I do what I’m supposed to do…but then I feel like I’m constantly self sabotaging myself by shoving something in my face. 

Ok…I’m done bashing myself.  I want this to be a positive thing…not a negative thing.  And I think that by always being negative is bringing on a negative reaction.  So I need to look ahead with a good mindset and try and do what I need to do.    Who knows what I can accomplish if I just did what I needed to do??