Another year older...still trying to get wiser ;)

Where do I begin?

Well yesterday I turned 37 years old. How the hell did I turn 37??? It seems like yesterday when i was in high school!!!

We had my cake and dinner at my parents house on Saturday night. My mom made homemade pizza and it was so good! Dessert was a rocky road pie that my sister made for me and ice cream cake.....oh, and my brother-in-law made me rice crispy treats ;)

On Sunday (father’s day) was my real birthday...we had Angelica from Saturday and when we got up they gave me my birthday cards and a gift card from VS and a candle (I already got my tv on Thursday). We then had breakfast and then we had to get done because Angelica had to be home by 1:30 to get her hair done for the recital. So after we dropped her off we had like 3 hours to kill before the show, so we went to the mall and walked around there for a bit and then went to this little park and walked around there. They had these cute little bridges and adam took some pics and then there were swings! Oh you know I got on them! LOL! It was so much fun!

The recital was nice....after that we went and got sushi. I treated Adam since I didn’t get him anything for father’s day..even though it was my birthday ;) Im such a good wife! LOL!

I will try and post some pics later....my sister used her camera for most of the pics so I have to get her to e-mail them to me.

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Now...onto my crazy brain and figure shows......

I know I make myself crazy but I know how I am and I do this to myself every time.....I was reading over my blog and I am such a broken record its ridiculous...If I didn’t have some good stuff and pics in this blog I would erase the whole damn thing cause I hate myself! All it is, over and over again, is excuse, after excuse of why I didn’t do something, or why I ate something I shouldn’t have, over and over again!

I don’t even know why anyone reads me because I cant stand myself!

I set a goal for myself and I broke it, and then I make a later one...and I fucked that one up too....now for the only show that is left in my area in September is now a little under 11 weeks out and I texted Tony and told him that and he wants pics and said that depending what they are like and what my weight is at the end of the week we will see if its even possible.....honestly I should look like a freaking rock star by now and I am a fat little troll.....well I know im not fat, im still probably around 113 (but after the way I ate this weekend probably 115) ...but he wants me at 110 before he can even make a decision....and that makes me think that I cant do it....

I am going to put forth 110% from this point forward and see what happens.....all cardio will be done, all workouts will be complete, all food will be on target....

I am so tired of hearing myself talk about it, it makes me sick.....this is it....do or die.....if I cant get to where I need to be after this, then I don’t know what im going to do, but at least I will know that I gave it my best shot and I didn’t quit again for the 100th time!

Im going to put a countdown clock up....I am hopeful that I can do this....but I have a lot of work ahead of me......

LETS DO THIS.....NO EXCUSES, IM DONE WITH THEM.....LETS SEE WHAT I AM REALLY MADE OF....LETS SEE IF I HAVE THE DRIVE IN ME TO DO THIS!!!