Tuesday :)

Hi all...

Well yesterday i took my first boxing class....it was interesting....i burned 440 calories so that was nice.....Im not sure if i would take it again though....basically all it was, was 10 min on your own jumping rope...then push ups and mountain climbers.  then it was 3 rounds of bag punches....about 2 min intervals at which you did a sprint across the gym and back in-between each set of punches...then he had you do a bunch of crunches.,..while he stood there....and yelled what to do next...standing in the corner.....he did come over to me and help me put my gloves on since it was my first time...but all and all, i wasn't too impressed.  And yesterday was leg day too in the morning, so i was really sore when i got home....

today was shoulders/triceps....my upper body is sore but im not sure if it is sore from boxing or my shoulder workout.....either way, im glad im a little sore :)

Weekend was nothing special.....we had Angelica on Friday-Saturday.  Saturday night we went to dinner with friends of ours...i actually just got a salad with seared tuna on it....nothing on the menu was really interesting me....oh well.  it was nice to get out :)

Sunday i went food shopping and prepped for the week.  My meal plan is pretty good this month so its not hard to stick with.  I must do pics on friday for Gen...i haven't done them in forever!!!

i guess that is all i got right now ;)

Monday, January 9, 2012

Well the weekend went by way to quickly as always :)

Saturday went to get sushi with our friends.  We did a polyanna and we haven't been able to get together during the holidays so we wound up doing it on saturday.  It was nice.  I got a PINK tee shirt and PINK perfume :)

Sunday I got up and ran to see my nephew and then ran to BJ's and then came home and cooked and prepped for the week (or half way through, depending how long it lasts ;)..LOL)  

I didn't get up again for cardio (surprise) but i did have a decent leg workout at the gym.  I will do my cardio when i get home.

I dont get it....its so hard it is to lose one pound but to gain 5?  so easy!  My clothes are tight....im not liking it at all.  it is actually really starting to bother me...but im not going to get discouraged and sad about it...im just going to work to get rid of it.  This bloat needs to go!!!

Other than that....nothing else going on.   Life is the same...which is good :)

Im looking at shows to do.....im also looking into going to bombshell camp.  

I need goals....long term and short term.  

I need to think :)

bye for now :)

one day at a time

Well Im back at work...blech....back to the grind!

today was back to the gym and back to packing up all my food for the day.  I did legs this morning and it was looong!  I have to do some plyos when i get home tonight because i ran out of time.  Along with my cardio :)

Biggest Loser starts back up again tonight!  I cant wait.....i love that show!

I stunk up my house so bad cooking on my indoor grill last night...my hair stunk, my clothes....i had to open up the front and back door to get air circulating and to get the stink out ;)  I wish it was warm enough to use my outside grill still :(

Im still thinking about what my goals should be for this year....i want to try and do short term (monthly) and then my goals for the year.

I got on the scale this morning....i shouldn't have..but i did.....i need to hold myself more accountable...and i will be sending off my weekly pics again to Gen.  I need to....i think a big reason of my weight gain through november and december was due to the fact that i didn't check in at all with my trainers...mentally i knew i was being bad and i didn't want to be reminded of it..so i just didn't check in.  And the result of that is me being a meatball right now.

Adam had to go to Louisiana for work this morning :(   The only good thing that comes out of it is that i can take my time when i get home...i can do what i want to do...i can take down the decorations, do my cardio, or just lay around if i want ;)  Dont get me wrong, i miss him terribly when he is not around...but sometimes its nice to just do what i want at my pace :)

I was going to go to my sisters house tonight...usually I go there on Tuesdays...but i didn't bring enough food with me for one, and the other is that my mom is making chicken and dumplings (which I love) and i cant be around it...i know me...even if i had my food with me, i would want to "taste" it....so im taking myself out of that situation.

I still have so much guilt when it comes to being around my family.  Like on Sunday...they were all going to be over my sisters for dinner....my family and nicky's family...the menu was:  spiral ham, potato salad, stuffed shells, salad and string bean casserole.  Now, none of that was on my plan and i really didn't want to go there to eat any of that.  But because i felt bad not seeing anyone on new years day, i went...and i ate things i shouldn't have...just because i felt bad.  What is wrong with me???    But this is what goes through my head...i have this constant fight of what i should do and what i want to do.  And what I "should" do usually wins....but in that mindset, i make food choices that i shouldn't be.

Im rambling, i know....but this is how my brain works....i guess its the Italian Catholic guilt..LOL!

I hate me sometimes!  maybe one day i will live my life for me....and not do what everyone else wants me to do!

Well here we go..

2012...another year has come and gone....have i learned any lessons?  have i reached any of the goals that i had set out for myself?  I'm not sure....now don't get me wrong...i did not have a horrible year...im healthy, i have a great husband, a roof over my head, a loving family, a job that i like, so overall, i can't complain.

Were there things that i wish i could change?  of course.  But what i am learning is that you can't look back and say "what if".  I can only look forward to what i want and what i want to become.  Year after year i do the same thing.  I look back with regrets.  Im done doing that.  Im starting with a new outlook..a happy, positive outlook....and i am going to see where it takes me....

I haven't blogged in a while...and scrolling down, you can see my whole year on one page...so not cool.

I am going to track my life more.  So i can look back on this blog...and not have regrets....just to see what i accomplished and how i feel :)

Isn't that what its all about?

So if i have anyone out there who still reads this silly little blog, we are going to see what 2012 can bring for this gal ;)  

Happy New Years :)

It amazes me how much time goes by and I always want to do more on my blog and then 10,000 other things come up and I just don’t get a chance.  I am reading everyone’s though ;)

So what is new?  Well…we are going to Playa Del Carmen on November 12 for a week!  I cannot wait!

Angelica is turning 13 in a few weeks….we are having her b-day dinner/party on November 4^th :)

Training is going well.  My trainer has set a two week goal of 5 lbs (which would be October 28^th)  Im going to try my best and get there…

Its amazing how when you do well with your eating how much easier it is to lose…picking here and there totally stagnates any progress on my body.  So I have to be good.  I have been slacking sooo bad and it is so not worth it.  I have not made any progress in months…and its all because of my eating. 

I weighed in this morning and had to send pics to Gen and Shannon…im down 2lbs….who would have thought?  Being 100% and doing what I should, actually works ;)

I am so tired of paying someone to train me and then not doing what im supposed to do.  What is the purpose then?  I am going to follow it and do it right. 

This whole year has been me messing up over and over again…not making any progress…actually getting worse, if that is possible….so I have to believe that it can be done with compliance…..

its been way too long

I don’t even know where to begin...its been such a long time in between posts.

Work has been really busy lately too and I just run out of time to blog.

As always, im not where I want to be body wise.  A part of me feels like such a failure.  Not being able to be what I know that I can be.  And then on the other hand, I am in acceptance of it and I want to be ok with not looking the way that I want to.

Every year it’s the same thing.  And now, we are in the 9th month of the year and im no where near where I should be.  I wanted to compete in June..that went out the window...then I said November and by the way that I look right now....there is no way in hell I can get where I want/need to be.   It is all my doing...im not putting the blame on anyone but myself.

Anyway....I have to look at things in a better light...im happy, I have a wonderful husband, step daughter, fur babies, family and friends.  I have a job, a house, a car and im healthy.  These are the things that matter.  Yes I want to get on stage and I want to look like Ava Cowan or Nicole Wilkins.  Yes I want to look down at my stomach and see abs...not a roll...yes, I want no cottage cheese on my butt/thighs.....I digress.....anyway, you get the picture.

I love working out...and for the most part, I love eating clean.  Yes there are times when I want to devour a whole brownie pan, but, I feel so much better when im doing what I should.

Having a positive mindset is probably the hardest thing to do.  I try to actually talk to myself and give myself a pep talk...telling myself that I deserve this, I am strong, powerful, I can get through whatever obstacle I face.  But I don’t believe it.  And there lies the entire problem.

For example....I sent my weekly progress pics to momma....with a paragraph of basically saying that the pictures are bad, I made too many mistakes this week...blah blah blah....her words back to me??

“You have to either decide that this is a LIFESTYLE and you are changing for GOOD - OR you have to learn to be happy to live the rest of your life heavy.  The choice is YOURS.

I want to see a BIG change in attitude this week.  You need to care enough about YOU to make a change.

What's it gonna be?”


So there it is....my attitude is bad....so then my outcome is going to be bad.  Im just not a positive person.  Im always so negative about myself *(you can even see this in the above paragraphs).

So anyway.. Onto another issue....  I need to rant about something.  There is this online “trainer” who thinks that he knows it all and feels the need to bash and talk about other trainers and their training philosophy.  I don’t get it?  Fine, maybe you don’t agree with that person’s training or whatever but to mock and to say that these trainers who train 100's of girls, don’t know what they are doing and he does?  And to post it on facebook?  Come on!  Grow up!  It just pisses me off.  So the trainers who have dozens upon dozens of girls who are pros..they are all wrong???    So all of these IFBB pros who still do 2 cardio sessions a day along with their weight training while going into a show...they are all doing it wrong?  So when Nicole Wilkins is doing 2x50 or 60 minute cardio sessions a day going into the Olympia...she is wrong too???    EVERY SINGLE pro that I ever either read an article on or see an interview with all say they do between 30-50 min of cardio a day....even in “off season”....Gina Aliotti still does cardio 6xs a week and she isn't even competing right now!

I really hope that I dont offend anyone by this.......these are just my thoughts.....I do feel better now  though :)

where do i start?

I cannot believe how fast the time just goes!  It is just insane!  I feel like I just blogged and its already over a month!

So what has been going on?  Honestly it’s the same crap every day.  

My 39th birthday was at the end of June.  I still cannot believe that im that old!  Anyway..hubby got me the Kindle which I love!  And a new camera :) I needed a new camera badly!  Had a cheat meal on that day ( It was a Tuesday) and I had my ice cream cake too :)

Well since I cant go back and remember the past month, I guess I will just stay with the present...  This weekend adam had to go away for work in Indiana...which really sucked cause I wanted to go so I could see my bud :( But I couldn’t go....so I was all alone.  I went and visited my family down the shore on Saturday for the day (oh, yeah, they got a shore house for the month of July but because of the dog we cant really go and stay with them...I cant put the dog in a kennel and my parents are usually the ones who watch him).  Went to the beach and the to the boardwalk. I went on a few rides with my nephew and I bought him a hermit crab :)

Yesterday was a very busy day...I got up, ate breakfast, went to walmart, bj’s and got gas then headed home.  I had to cook my food for the week (well probably until Wednesday or so).  So I cleaned and cooked all day...I was exhausted by the time 9:00 came around...and I was done!  I watched True Blood and then hit the hay!

This morning I got up and I did 35 minutes on the treadmill, then got my food together, walked the dog and headed out to the gym for my leg/butt/calves workout.    It was a great workout!  I was soaked!!!  

what else???

Well im not sure who knows, or who even cares to know..but I joined Team Bombshell a while back!  I absolutely love her style of training and nutrition.  I am actually having trouble getting all my meals in.  

But, like all plans, I have my issues with being able to stay strict and eat clean everyday.  I struggle so much with the nutrition aspect of ANY meal plan, no matter who the trainer may be.  Which is why I still look the way that I do.   I am a perfect example of self sabatague.  Whenever I feel like im doing well, I talk myself into “well I deserve this”...well you know what?  I don’t....I deserve to look like a competitor, not like a frumpy mess.  I don’t ever give myself enough credit.  I think I am so afraid of what I might be able to look like if I just did what I was supposed to.    When am I going to say enough is enough...I have been failing every time I try and do something....I need to trust the process....and its not like they don’t know that im not doing what im supposed to be...they do this for a living....they know what works and what doesn’t.  So I cant be properly judged and have changes made if im not doing what im supposed to be doing.  

I try and write down what I eat...but I run out of time.  I get so mad at myself sometimes.  I need to focus on me and not what everyone else is doing.   And I start to get to the point where I don’t want to even tell anyone that I work out because I don’t even look it!

So im going to just stop talking and reading and everything else and just do.  One day at a time, one meal at a time.  I want my trainer to be proud of me and I want to be proud of myself!  I will never know what I can become if I don’t let it right?  

My friend Tara said this to me:  Angela, do you honestly think those HUNDREDS of girls have something you DON'T? Not a chance. Far too many of them up there for you to be counting yourself in some other class or something. Half of 'em probably don't even have your good genetic shape, either. You don't see it. I do. I want to smack you sometimes! It's ironic how you see that...and I SO do not! The A class needs some real competitors, too...so hurry up and get in there. Your age is just when you were born. You look nothing like your age, so your body is just young on top of being a great shape. Go after this. Don't regret not doing this! xo!!

And she may be right....yes I do have a lot of fat to lose, but I do have a decent shape I guess?  I mean I have the boobs and the butt ;) Now if it was all tight and tiny...then maybe we would have a winner ;)

So I talked to Shannon about doing KY Muscle again and she thinks that I can get there and do well...but I have to really step it up...no more cheats, nibbles, etc.    I have to put it all out there.  

April talked to her too about doing it....so now im telling you Ms. April....we got 18 weeks...lets show them what we got ;) We can do it..... I need to do this...and to do it right!  

So once again....let the games begin!  T minus 116 days and counting.......

alive and kicking

All is well in angela land....just trying to do too many things at one time...
everyday i say i want to post...and then time gets away from me and another day goes by without one.

Workouts great..diet is great....trainer is great....

Family is doing well.....hubby and me are good :)

Got two wisdom teeth out last week...that was not fun...but im healing ok...still not able to eat on my left side but im eating :)

work is super busy....which is when i usually will blog...hence the non-blogging ;)

hopefully i can do more tomorrow :)

bye!

Monday, April 25th :)

Happy Monday!

I cannot believe how fast time goes.  Easter is already over and my nephew and niece turned 3 last week.  

training is going well.  New meal plan and new workouts are kicking my butt!  I love it.  I seriously do...its like a whole new world :) I am actually enjoying working out and doing what I need to do because I know its going to get me where I need to be!  

Today was legs....started off with some early morning cardio at home on my treadmill :) Then went to the gym and did legs....my face was so red and I was soaked!  Loved it!!!  I almost didn’t finish but I made myself finish.  I didn’t want to give up...so I pushed forward and did what I needed to do!

I needed a good ass whoopin too because yesterday’s diet wasn’t so great...I saved my free meal for yesterday instead of Saturday so I would be able to enjoy easter dinner with the family.  I really don’t know how people eat like that everyday..,cause I felt like crap...eating that way is not for me anymore...I just cant do it....give me sushi or a slice or two of pizza every now and then and im good to go :)

The weather is beautiful today...it makes me smile....and I really don’t want to be in work because its so nice out....but what is good is that I don’t have to do so much cardio anymore...which is wonderful!  Once in the morning and then im done!  Its good to have evenings to myself to get my food together and have hubby time and house cleaning time :)

I need to keep this blog updated more....I really like to be able to look back and see what was going on in my life....gotta remember that :)

oh, and I got my hair cut last wednesday...it was getting so out of control....so now its all layered up and healthy again :)

I want to try and figure out what show I can do this year...I wanted to do june..but the way time is just flying by...I cant see it happening....so it will probably be fall...which is fine...cause I want to be ready....not just get up there for the hell of it...

I guess that is all I have for now.....

getting back in the swing of things

Its been way too long since i posted...so i want to try and hold myself accountable (yes, once again)...

Im starting a new plan on monday....i have to go food shopping and get all my food prepped for the week.  I think i need a new food bag too...

im also in the process of trying to clean my house and throw things away.  I put in a bid for a new house...which they accepted but it is contingent upon me selling mine....hence, me cleaning ;)  

But i have an issue with a leak in my ceiling in my kitchen....we thought it was the roof..then thought it was the bathroom....still trying to figure it out....i need to get a water specialist (yes there is such a thing) and see where its coming from...the roofer doesn't know and the plumber cant figure it out either....so my house is going up for sale and there is a giant hole in my ceiling...not good...so i have to get it resolved quick!  Its a mess!

That is really all that is going on....i lead a pretty boring life for the most part....

once i get back on track with my eating plan and i start shedding this fat to be lean and mean i will feel better :)   And hopefully will post more :)