at the gym i had chest....i really dont like doing chest because i have enough of it...but i did it...and its done.
Do you ever wonder what other people are thinking about you? I constantly think that others are talking about me....saying things about the way i eat and yet i still look the same. That they say, she eats so well and works out constantly but she still has no muscle...i think that they think that way about me because that is the way i think about myself. I am constantly looking at myself. Usually in a negative way.
Becca said something to me in my last post about me dieting for so long. I have thought about that...and yes, while i have been "dieting" for a while now....i am constantly cheating and not eating what im supposed to..so therefore my diet has not really been a diet....because of all of the "extras" constantly...I have made no progress...which makes me sad....because i feel like i want this so bad, and yet i do not want to work to get it. I know what has to be done...and you would think that i would be good because i know how much happier i am when changes start happening. When my pants are falling off, when i see little peeks of muscle definition...and i know what has to be done to get there. Which is why i need to relax, do the work and stay consistent. Im not consistent and i know this....which is why i look like i do.
Im not going to lie...there is no reason to..the last time i weighed...which was last saturday was 117.2. That is not good. I have been going up and down losing one pound, gaining it back...etc. Its crazy. So i just need to realize that im not going to make any accomplishments if i continue down this path.
26 weeks is a half a year...and the way im looking at it is different....if i get down to where i need to be in the 14 weeks and then the 16 weeks...i can just maintain for a few weeks until close to November...so i wont be killing myself worried again if i can get there. I want to be ready ahead of time. That is fine and good in my head....i just have to do it in real life...i can type whatever i want...its the action that needs to be done.
I feel like im the worst blog writer sometimes... its hard for me to get the words across of what is going on in my head. I have always been bad at writing. I have such jumbled up thoughts i feel like im ADHD. Which i probably am...LOL!
Anyway....off the subject.....this weekend is memorial weekend already! I cant believe May is over! We really dont have any plans....my sister is BBQing on sunday....i will take my food to grill...that isn't an issue. Its the stuff afterwards....the desserts that come out. This is partly why i hate going out....i hate being put in those situations. Cause i always want to break off a piece of something...or eat some fruit or stick my finger in icing. You all know how it is....
I was reading Kari's blog earlier...how she wanted something she shouldn't and had to call her BF....i dont do that....i usually give into the temptation....i think i need to start thinking about my actions more before i act...cause the mind is very powerful....and it will make you rationalize and do things that you think is ok...when really they are not...i need to make that call when i feel that way.....or just stop listening to the evil inside my head that always seems to win.....i need to lock that little person up somewhere and throw away the key :)
9 comments:
I really believe in you girlie!! Next time you are having a hard time, send a text to me! I will set you straight! Genie, Dawn, and Jes have kept me from doing bad before too!! YOU CAN DO THIS!
Also, I don't think you're a bad blog writer at all! You write very much like I think, just blurb it all out there...it makes perfect sense to me!
Let's do it mama!!
I'm sure you'll be fine :-) :-).
Best wishes.
:-) :-).
Matt
Angela you weight less then me :) you Can do this! and your blog style is just fine! STOP IT GIRLY! YOU CAN DO IT!
I'm not even close to the level of fitness that competitors have. I am trying to lose bodyfat and acheive a more cut physique and that is even hard as far as dieting down. I can't imagine how tough it must be to prepare for competition.
I love your blog...that's why I follow.
You've done it before...you can and will do it again.
Angela, all that matters is that you keep going. Period. ;-)
Yes, it is all mental. You just need to take a step back before you reach for that little bite or lick. I am just like you with the blogging, all my thoughts are racing through my head but I can never make them sound like they should. I think I am ADHD too.
Ang, feel free to use my number freely! Although, I'm not usually the best at keeping people off the food as of late. :-/ I swear, everything you write, I relate to it so much... from the ADHD thoughts/writing and then giving into temptations. You can do it. I'm cheering for you!!!! :) XOXO!!
One thing that really helps for me is visualizing the tempting food as big, gross, grey blobs of fat hanging onto my thighs when I'm standing on stage. Srsly, it works pretty well. :P
Hang in there - you've got your dates set, now keep telling yourself that you CAN do it and you WILL do it! We're all here to support you!!
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