and i need to get my head on straight. i dont know where my fire, my desire, my heart went with regard to me competing. It's really making me sad. Adam has also seen it and he told me that if i dont get back to being strict and get my heart back in it, then i have to get rid of Tony because if im not eating what im supposed to and not following his plan like im supposed to be, then im throwing money out the window. And he is right! Why am i doing this to myself? I need to start fresh....pack all my food, no eating in between, etc.
What i think happened was that i knew that i wasn't going to be ready to compete, so i said, why be so strict? And i would eat something off plan. And that is what is happening over and over again.
Example...yesterday i was talking to my sister and they were ordering chinese food and asked if we wanted to come over....i called adam and asked him....he said "could you eat chinese food?" I said "No" So he said "so then why are you even asking me? I know why he said, because if i said yes then you would feel that it would be ok to eat it too" Then he said "what happened to you? A few months ago, you wouldn't have even asked me to do that because you wouldn't even considered eating that!" And he is so right! Right off the bat I would have said, no way...cant eat it...
I dont even know what to say to myself anymore. While im working out im fine...i want to succeed...but if food is put in front of me i want to eat it.
My weight is slowly climbing...im at 116.4 That is not good....i was at 113.5...not that its a huge gain or anything...but i can see the difference....being so short, you can see every pound.
I really need to talk to Tony and see if there is any hope for me. Cause im not liking myself anymore.....
10 comments:
You are where I was about this time last year. I planned and backed out of 2 or 3 shows. Just wasn't ready I guess. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe just take a break and think about it and find the fire again. Find out WHY you want to do it.
hi Angela..it is true what Adam said. It is alot of money each month if you are not going to follow the program. You have all the diet info from Tony already and you have all his workouts. What you could do is cancel right now and when you feel you are really ready you can use the knowledge he already gave you and start again.
Good Luck on what you decide
(((hugs)))
That's a tough spot. I'm sure Tony can help you figure it out. Why did you want to do a competition in the first place? What made your heart jump or your stomach flutter? :) What originally made you say- "I wanna do that!" ? Maybe answering those questions will help you figure out what has changed. Don't be afraid of success or the challenge. You have nothing to be afraid of. ;)
No matter what you choose, its ok. You have to do what is right for you.
(((hugs)))
ps- thanks for stopping by my blog. :)
Of course there's hope for you. you only gained 2.9lbs. Some people with healthy lifestyles gain more than that over Christmas, just by doing zippo for 4-5 days on the spin.
Get over it, it's not a problem, you could lose that in about 1.5-2 weeks.
You'll be fine, but not if you stress about it, and make things worse.
You're HUMAN, and that's a great thing, so embrace it and don't worry too much okay :-) :-).
GOOD LUCK
Matt
hi angela,
talk with tony. i must disagree with Ruby because we who have been on the program all know that the diet and the workouts can change drastically if tony feels that they should. i have been with tony for a while now and each time i thought i knew it all and had all his stuff, he hit me with something new. talk to the T-man! when we try to go alone, we gain more weight--that's a statistical fact!
I've been where you are too. Especially before my cruise. I would eat something that I normally wouldn't eat becase I figured since I would be pigging out on the cruise it wouldn't hurt. You see where that got me!
I look at it like this now: Even if I wasn't trying to compete, with my bodytype I just CAN'T eat certain things. Sometimes Mike will be like we'll have that after your show and I tell him no not even then. I have to realize if I want to be chubby and miserable then I will eat fun stuff but I don't want to be like that. I want to be healthy and fit! Of course i'll be e-mailing you Monday to tell you I ate nuts or trail mix LOL!!
There's plenty of hope for you. Don't feel discouraged. I'm going through a hard time too. But we can lean on each other and know that we'll make it through. I believe in you!!!
There's plenty of hope for you. Don't feel discouraged. I'm going through a hard time too. But we can lean on each other and know that we'll make it through. I believe in you!!!
You might want to check out skwigg's post on being "healthy." www.skwigg.com/blog
Competing is not for everyone and being happy is the most important thing. You dont want to beat yourself up all the time if a competition is not for you.
Be good to yourself. Be happy.
Oh we have all been there. Just take a step back and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to compete. Maybe you are just not ready. I would talk to Tony, he is really good about figuring these things out.
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