Well besides it being so crappy out today, im doing ok. Last night i did 65 minutes of cardio on the treadmill....
Today i worked my back at the gym. I will do another hour when i get home.
I haven't weighed myself since last week...i dont want to weigh myself this saturday either. Saturday i will be 13 weeks out! Time goes by so quickly.
I got into it last night with Adam over the whole competing thing. It all started with sushi. He started it by saying that he was in the mood for it....that is all i needed to hear. Its like a little subliminal message to me...so now i wanted it....badly! What could it hurt? I have PLENTY of time, right? What is one little meal going to do? Fish is healthy right?
So he says to me:
Adam: are you allowed to eat sushi on your diet?
me: yes
Adam: come on.....you know you cant have the rice
Me: I know but i want it really bad
Adam: dont you want to get on stage in a few weeks?
me: yes...but i have plenty of time.....
adam: but look how fast it came last time and you killed yourself last time and y0u put back half the weight that you took off...so its going to be harder this time
me: i know what i should be doing..but its not fair
adam: does your trainer know when you eat something your not supposed to?
me: no
adam: well then how is he going to fix what needs to be fixed if you aren't doing what you are supposed to?
me: I know
Ok...well you guys get the point....this went on for a bit....i know what im supposed to do...i know i cant have that....i know that the other girls training for a show dont do what i want to do....they are working harder than me....right now......every day....which is why they are going to do better than me on show day......
He is only helping me, i know this....the truth hurts....i didn't get it....i made salmon and shrimp and a salad. LIke a good girl.....
I just want progress and i know im not going to get progress if i cheat....i dont want to be one of those girls at the gym who is there every day and looks the same....i want to look like i work out....and i dont.....
i wanted to start posting progress pics from 12 weeks out.....im lucky if i can post pics from 6 weeks out and be happy with them......
things need to change if i want this......adam thinks i dont really want this...he said "you say you do, but really you don't......
i do want this.....
i will get there......
i made this decision......
this is my dream......no one elses......
i will do this
promise :)
Today i worked my back at the gym. I will do another hour when i get home.
I haven't weighed myself since last week...i dont want to weigh myself this saturday either. Saturday i will be 13 weeks out! Time goes by so quickly.
I got into it last night with Adam over the whole competing thing. It all started with sushi. He started it by saying that he was in the mood for it....that is all i needed to hear. Its like a little subliminal message to me...so now i wanted it....badly! What could it hurt? I have PLENTY of time, right? What is one little meal going to do? Fish is healthy right?
So he says to me:
Adam: are you allowed to eat sushi on your diet?
me: yes
Adam: come on.....you know you cant have the rice
Me: I know but i want it really bad
Adam: dont you want to get on stage in a few weeks?
me: yes...but i have plenty of time.....
adam: but look how fast it came last time and you killed yourself last time and y0u put back half the weight that you took off...so its going to be harder this time
me: i know what i should be doing..but its not fair
adam: does your trainer know when you eat something your not supposed to?
me: no
adam: well then how is he going to fix what needs to be fixed if you aren't doing what you are supposed to?
me: I know
Ok...well you guys get the point....this went on for a bit....i know what im supposed to do...i know i cant have that....i know that the other girls training for a show dont do what i want to do....they are working harder than me....right now......every day....which is why they are going to do better than me on show day......
He is only helping me, i know this....the truth hurts....i didn't get it....i made salmon and shrimp and a salad. LIke a good girl.....
I just want progress and i know im not going to get progress if i cheat....i dont want to be one of those girls at the gym who is there every day and looks the same....i want to look like i work out....and i dont.....
i wanted to start posting progress pics from 12 weeks out.....im lucky if i can post pics from 6 weeks out and be happy with them......
things need to change if i want this......adam thinks i dont really want this...he said "you say you do, but really you don't......
i do want this.....
i will get there......
i made this decision......
this is my dream......no one elses......
i will do this
promise :)
8 comments:
Oh gosh! Todd and I had a similar conversation today! MEN! GRAR!!! They can lose weight by thinking about losing weight--geez. They think it's so simple huh.
Maybe you should post progress pictures in just like tank top and shorts. I done it and it's made me more hardcore about sticking to the diet because you all will see the difference big time or you all will hold me accountable....maybe you should post them? I think you should. I doubt you look as bad as you think. That's what everyone tells me. I always think I look worse than I really do!
Good for you for sticking to this. I didn't work with a trainer, so I know I can't derail you but I had sushi on my diet up until I had to kick it in high gear toward the end. They make it with brown rice here at my deli, and I used to eat it on my high carb day. I planned it and I built it in to my day. Salmon, or tuna in brown rice is not bad for you at all!!!
just a thought.
I know what you mean about wanting it, sticking to it, and being that girl in the gym who looks like you work out. Those thoughts are what got me here, 2 weeks out!! I'm looking forward to knowing how it feels on stage - something you already know! YOu looked beautiful and I'm sure you will look even BETTER this time around. I can't wait to see your pics.
It WILL happen.
Don't worry and GOOD LUCK.
:-) :-).
Matt
Thankyou for sharing the 'bad times' as well as the good! Makes me feel more normal knowing other women go through these tough times too!
I try to remember the end outcome and that all this will be so worthwhile!
Keep going, you've done such an amazing job already! :)
you made the right choice! a tough choice, but definitely the right one nonetheless. that would have been hard for me too.
tomorrow you'll wake up and be so much happier that you didn't cave in :)
Good job sticking with your plan. You can do it.
I love sushi too and when I was training for my comp if I craved it I would go have just the pieces of fish...is it called sashimi. I'd have that, edamame, and sometimes miso soup. A lot of sodium but I didn't care. :)
ROCK ON...This post reminds me of me...I'm glad there is someone else out there who is honest enough to write about how hard this process is...and that it sucks and you want to cheat and sometimes you do and you get set back.
It's not that you don't want it bad enough...of course you want it bad enough...it's just...can you get your mental state right? Your body will do whatever your brain tells it to do...you can spend hours and hours in the gym and the body will take a beating...but like you said...if you're not seeing results because you're not eating the right foods, what's the point?
I look forward to reading more of your story. I'm here to support you!!!
Angela,
You can have the sushi.... in 14 weeks. It's not like you can NEVER have it. Your meal plan is a map to a winning physique. It is a tool to help you get what you want.
Nothing worthwile comes easy girl. You can do this!
~C.
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