Im talking to my mother this afternoon and she says to me...."Michelle(my sister) and Nicky (her husband) are coming over for dinner on Thursday....you know you are more than welcome to come to." I know, i say....and then again, she says "you never come over to visit anymore.(its only been a few weeks, and i saw her saturday and sunday) but i get the guilt trip. I have explained to her that i dont get home from the gym until almost 7:00, then i have to cook and then eat (and by that time its almost 8:00). THEN....she proceeds to say...."i dont know why you are on this silly "diet".. you need to eat "normal" everyday foods....you cant continue to eat that way. I say "mom, im not eating anything "diet", im just eating clean. (which she has no idea what that means). THEN, (this is the best one)......she says "your going to get all big and muscular and look like a man." Now im laughing, and i ask her if those words actually just came out of her mouth....cause im in such awe that someone can think like that.....I can't even continue to write the craziness that ensued during the rest of the conversation of me trying to explain to her that 1) im not going to get big like a man, 2) im not going to look "ugly because i have muscles" 3) Im not going to "get a square jaw" (I THINK THAT ONE WAS MY FAVORITE).
She was actually making me laugh out loud....and making me angry at the same time! So, i told her i had to go and i would just talk to her later.
The thing is....you would think that i was talking to someone who is like 80 years old with a close minded mentality. I felt like i was in the twilight zone!!
Then i call Adam to tell him the ridiculous story....and of course he takes my side and says that because im trying to better myself I have to get guilt tripped to visit my mom (who by the way lives 5 blocks from me). And then he says "you know, they all probably think this is my fault, some how".....which wouldnt be too crazy a thought. Because they are all crazy!
AM I REALLY DOING SOMETHING WRONG??? I dont think so. I FINALLY have a strong mindset and i get shit for it. Im not going to feel guilty and get discouraged. Im trying to do something for me and only me.....and if they wont support me...then i dont want to hear anything from them....negative or positive......
Then i really think crazy...like in the future...what if i really get into this and maybe a year from now i decide that maybe all my hard work has paid off and that i would be able to compete (a dream, i know) but does that mean that my family wouldn't be there for me? I would love to think that it wouldn't be the case but god knows.....hopefully if it came down to that, things would be different.
I am giving this my all...and for once in my life im doing something for me....and no one is going to stop me!!!!
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